Win People, Not Fights

We’ve all encountered THAT person…

The know-it-all. The one who has to be right—whatever the cost.

They should be required to wear a name tag that says: “Hi, I’m Feisty. You’re wrong, I’m right—and it’s my job to let you know.” (at least that way we can see ‘em coming).

Quoting Peter Haas from his book Pharisectomy: How To Joyfully Remove Your Inner Pharisee And Other Religiously Transmitted Diseases…

“Some Christians have acquired the misguided notion that believers are called to confront the entire universe and do so in some freaky-weird ways.”

The thing is, when you’re good at winning arguments, you’re also good at losing people.

We want to win people, not fights.

Proverbs 11.30 says, “A wise person wins friends”.

When your goal is to win friends, you talk less and listen more.

When your goal is to win arguments, you talk more and listen less.

Winning people requires the fine art of bridge-building (bridging the divide between us).

Jesus said, “Blessed are the bridge-builders in a war-torn world, for they are God’s children working in the family business.” (Matthew 5.9)

Letting people know, “You’re wrong and I’m right and I’m gonna win this fight,” is the opposite of bridge-building. It increases the divide between us. It burns down bridges…

And it stinks.

We are bridge-building peacemakers because we want to win people, not fights.