Posts by: Brian Dolleman

I grew up in the ’80′s, so my vocabulary includes words like “dude,” “sike,” and “diss”.

Diss is short for disrespect.

Dissing someone means you insult, mock, shame, or humiliate them.

There’s nothing beautiful or attractive about dissing. It’s mean-spirited and it’s ugly.

What is beautiful?

Honor and respect.

Sure, the idea of honor and respect might be kinda old school—but they’re hits, and I want to bring them forward with us.

To diss is to vandalize. It devalues. It’s like throwing a rock through a beautiful stained-glass window.

Honor and respect gives value, worth, and significance.

It says, “I see you. And I bless you.”

Jesus did this constantly.

He saw Zacchaeus. And He blessed him.

He saw the woman at the well. And He blessed her.

He saw the demon-possessed man living in the cemetery. And He blessed him.

He saw the woman caught in the act of adultery by the religious mafia. And He blessed her.

He saw His accusers and executioners from the cross. And he said, “Father forgive them—they know not what they do.”

He blessed them.

I want to be like Jesus.

I want to see people… see them as persons of worth and value. I want to see them as God’s wonderful creation.

I don’t want to look through people. I don’t want to see numbers, categories, statistics, or problems.

I want to see people. And I want to bless them.

I want to smile.

Bless.

Encourage.

Love.

Help.

Add value.

Give worth.

Dissing is ugly.

Honor and respect—absolutely beautiful.

Let’s bring the hit of honor and respect into our homes, families, neighborhoods, places of work, church, city, and world.

Let’s make it our mission to see people, and bless them.

I prefer my Fridays with some fun & free stuff—so I’m happy to share some with you…

#1. FREE BOOK—Love Does by Bob Goff.

This is currently my favorite book. I love the stories, adventure, & challenge to love God & do stuff. Be the first one to comment on this blog post & I’ll send you a copy (scroll down to the bottom of this page to comment). Also—follow Bob Goff on Twitter. You’ll be glad you did.

#2. FREE BOOK—Date Your Wife by Justin Buzzard.

In this new book, Justin gives 100 practical tips on how to date your wife. If you’re a guy & you’re married, you probably need this book (if you don’t win it, you should buy it). Gotta love Justin’s last name! Be the first one to comment on this blog post & I’ll send you a copy (scroll down to the bottom of this page to comment).

#3. OFFICE ANTICS—iPhone app by Jon Edmiston.

Looking to inject a little humor into your day at the office? Office Antics brings you 16 sounds especially chosen for the corporate environment. This app isn’t free—but for the laughs, it might just be worth the $.99 price tag.

#4. DIY PHOTOGRAPHY PROJECT—Transfer Prints to Wood.

Confession: I just want one of my friends to actually do this and be really good at it—so they can help me do it too. Anybody?

#5. FREE TEXTURES—by Joe Cavazos.

Grab these free textures from a cool designer. Now go create something with ‘em!

#6. POWER OF COMMUNITY—by Jonathan Malm.

This is an excellent blog post—with 5 truths about friendship. Definitely worth the 2 minutes it will take to read it… so check it out. And if you like this post, you should check out Andy Jones’ guest post on my blog too.

Like this post? You should also check out:

Friday Fun & Free Stuff

More Friday Fun & Free Stuff

Even More Friday Fun & Free Stuff

Fridays Are For Fun & Free Stuff!

Today’s guest post is by Andy Jones (I like to call him Andy Jones Live), He writes and podcasts regularly on his blog.

Take the Initiative…

“It is not good for the man to be alone.”

God himself said it and yet many of us live as if it’s a good idea.

We isolate ourselves for countless reasons:

• Personal preference
• Insecurity
• Exclusivity
• Social anxiety
• & many other good reasons

The bottom line is God designed as relational beings.

My brother Jeff has been living on his own in Stockton, CA for last year and half and will confirm the need for human connection.

It was difficult for him to move away from the family that loved, cared for and raised him for his first 26 years of life.

He was on his own in a new place.

Alone.

What Jeff had to realize is something I see throughout scripture as a pattern when it comes to cultivating relationships.

Jeff had to become the initiator.

If he wanted to make new friends and connections he would have to put himself in a position for it to happen.

In short, people from Stockton, CA were not lining up at Jeff’s door to become friends with him.

He had to go find them.

He went to church.

He joined a life group.

He volunteered to serve.

He showed up at the church office and made himself useful.

Quite honestly, I’m sure Jeff was a little uncomfortable with this but it had to be done if new relationships were going to happen.

One night in particular I remember calling Jeff; he mentioned he was driving 30 minutes out of his way to go play video games with a friend he had recently made.

Jeff could have stayed at home, but the need for relationship caused him to get in his car and drive.

No offense to my brother or anything but things were different for Jesus.

He was a popular guy.

Healing diseases, making the lame walk and raising the dead to life will make you well known.

When it came to the people that Jesus chose to be in community with He was the initiator.

He called out unlikely people to be his closest friends and companions.

One day as Jesus was walking along the shore of the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers—Simon, also called Peter, and Andrew—throwing a net into the water, for they fished for a living.

 Jesus called out to them, “Come, follow me.” (Matthew 4.18-19, NLT)

A little farther up the shore Jesus saw Zebedee’s sons, James and John, in a boat repairing their nets. He called them at once, and they also followed him. (Mark 1.16-20, NLT)

The next day Jesus decided to go to Galilee. He found Philip and said to him, “Come, follow me.” (John 1.43, NLT)

Jesus takes the initiative when it comes to relationships and so should we.

If you’re having trouble making connections and would like to get build better relationships here are a few tips:

• Be the friend you’d like to have
• Throw a party & invite lots of people (for no good reason)
• Slow down, take time to hang with people
• Be inclusive
• Encourage others (people should feel better after being around you)

Take the initiative.

I’m available if you’re serving steak.

Today’s guest post is by Angela Hagebusch. She writes regularly on her blog.

Everybody’s Welcome In The House…

Growing up, I have fond memories of my home always filled with people. My parents loved entertaining. We had a swimming pool and a pool table, air hockey, a putting green, a hot tub and a basketball hoop and they all got used a lot–by lots of different people.

My friends were always welcome at our home, and they enjoyed being there. My mom was good at keeping the snacks around and I heard on more than one occasion that I had really cool parents.

Families from the church were always being invited over to swim during the 100° summers in So Cal.

And countless BBQ’s were held in our backyard.

My parents hosted a small group in our home for nearly ten years and many of those in the group became like family themselves.

Even when my older brother was struggling with drug abuse, my parents would invite his druggie friends over for dinner because, the way they saw it, if they could make a positive impact it could eventually lead to a dramatic change.

There was an old wooden handmade sign with a painted sunflower that sat in the flowerbed in front of my house -

It read: Friends Welcome Here

And it was absolutely the truth.

Our door was always open and you were always welcome.

Yes my parents loved entertaining—but more importantly, they understood the value of building community.

Young and old, Christian and non-Christian, old friend, new friend, druggie, teammate, band member and co-worker—they were all invited and welcome and cared for.

That’s what community is all about.

Letting others in, including them, and making sure they’re taken care of.

“Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God.” (1 John 4.7)

With my dad’s life altering accident and the death of my mom coming much sooner than any could have imagined, those friends that had been made, the relationships that had been built were all there for us in return. They made sure we were taken care of.

Because that’s what community does.

Today I strive to follow my parent’s example.

They taught me the value of building community with everyone, no matter how different they may be. I plan to model the same for my kids.

So although I don’t yet have a wooden handmade sign with a painted sunflower that reads: Friends Welcome Here.

Let me just tell you—you are.

Today’s guest post is by Shawn Seeley. He writes regularly on his blog.

Say Yes To The Mess…

Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. (James 5.16 NLT)

I can’t remember how many times I’ve done this.

Afraid of being judged & condemned by people I perceived to be perfect, I was afraid to tell people what I struggled with.

What would they think? What would they say?

The example I had of “church people” before I became a Christian was confusing.

I’m sure you know what I mean—people who would mask the pain & struggles of their daily lives, hiding behind their Pan-Am smiles that tell you everything is just fine.

I wanted everything to be just fine, but hiding behind that fake smile wasn’t working.

The thing about hiding is that sooner or later, you’re found out.

Stressed out & afraid I couldn’t keep up the just fine smile anymore & because I didn’t have anyone at church I felt I could really be me around, I decided to give it one more try—in a life group.

As I spent time around these people, I noticed that I wasn’t alone—these were real people with real problems, just like me.

We met together every week to talk about the week, take off our just fine masks & openly admit that we were real people with real problems…& I had a real good time.

Community isn’t genuine if it’s not authentic (that’s my inner Yogi Berra coming out).

A book I read a while back (& have read several times since) might have said it better.

“One of the greatest gifts we can offer another person is a safe place to fail.” (TrueFaced)

That’s real community…a safe place to fail—together.

As Christians, we have to be willing to admit that we don’t have it all together, but we believe in the God who does & who loves us anyway.

Church isn’t a black & white, cut-&-dry collection of perfect people.

Church is a messy place for messy people who have said yes to the mess.

“The church that is prodigal friendly is both idealistic and realistic, committed to God’s standards and yet unsurprised by failure. The Bible is not the story of surgically-enhanced people of God, their defects and gaffs airbrushed out. Instead they are shown in their splendor and stupidity, warts, as they say, and all.” (Creating a Prodigal-Friendly Church)

James knew what real community was—a place where people were free to fail & be freely forgiven.

So what do you want?

A lifetime of stress & struggle hidden behind a just fine smile, or a chance to be open & honest with God, yourself & others?

I choose the latter & I’m inviting you to join me in saying yes to the mess of community.

It’s Friday again… time for some more fun & free stuff. Enjoy!

#1. FREE BOOK—Date Your Wife by Justin Buzzard.

In this new book, Justin gives 100 practical tips on how to date your wife. If you’re a guy & you’re married, you probably need this book (if you don’t win it, you should buy it). Gotta love Justin’s last name! Be the first one to comment on this blog post & I’ll send you a copy (scroll down to the bottom of this page to comment).

#2. FREE BOOK—Creating A Prodigal-Friendly Church by Jeff Lucas.

I recently had the opportunity to talk with Jeff Lucas & found him to be an excellent resource. If you’ve ever wondered, “Why are we doing what we’re doing at NWLife?” this book will be of interest to you. Be the first one to comment on this blog post & I’ll send you a copy (scroll down to the bottom of this page to comment).

#3. FREE MUSIC—In Christ Alone (My Hope Is Found) by Adam Young of Owl City.

This track is simple and beautiful. I love it… you will too.

#4. FREE MUSIC—Jekob (2 Albums).

Jekob is a Christian R&B / Hip Hop artist. Some good summertime music here.

#5. Coca-Cola Commercial—Security Cameras.

Fun video showing what we don’t normally see captured by security cameras.

Like this post? You should also check out:

Friday Fun & Free Stuff

More Friday Fun & Free Stuff

Even More Friday Fun & Free Stuff

Have you ever done the “flop your Bible down, see where it opens—and look for some incredible verse to jump out at you” Bible reading plan?

Uh… yeah, me neither.

Whether you’re out of practice, going through a dry spell, or haven’t yet figured out how to get something out of your Bible, this is for you.

The Bible is full of life, adventure, fascinating stories, and most importantly: God’s heart for you.

In fact, the Bible has one central message…

God loves you.

Maybe you’ve been missing out on what God is wanting you to hear, see, discover, learn, and take away from His Word.

Here are 3 Keys To Getting More From Your Bible:

1. Make It Fun.

Set the atmosphere. I like music playing in the background (not too loud or crazy or wordy—I don’t want the music to distract me; I want it to help set the mood). Sometimes I light a candle. A big cup of coffee is always part of my routine.

Get a Bible you can understand. I use the NLT (New Living Translation).

I also have a journal I use for taking notes when I’m studying my Bible. And I have lots of colorful pens on hand—for note taking and underlining/highlighting.

In the summer, I really enjoy reading the Bible outdoors in the morning.

Do what you’ve got to do in order to make it fun!

2. Stick To A Plan.

By plan, I don’t mean the “flop your Bible down, see where it opens—and look for some incredible verse to jump out at you” Bible reading plan.

You need an actual Bible reading plan to follow. Doing this gets you through sections of Scripture you might be missing if you just read randomly. Having a plan gives you the sense of accomplishment and getting somewhere.

Our church has a Bible reading plan online with hyperlinks to BibleGateway. It can also be accessed and read from our church’s iPhone App.

Get a plan and stick to it!

3. Search For Gold.

Think of reading your Bible as a treasure hunt—or a “Where’s Waldo?” hunt. Make it your goal to discover ONE thing (a takeaway, an insight, something you can apply to your life today) each time you read.

Psalm 119.162 says, “I rejoice at your Word as one who finds great treasure.”

When you discover the gold, make a treasure map (underline, highlight, write some notes in your journal—make it easy to get back to that verse again).

The cool thing about discovering Bible gold is that you can share it with others and its value goes up, not down, in your life. No other treasure is like that!

QUESTION: What helps you get more from your Bible? I’d love to hear what’s working for you…

Enjoy this post? You’ll want to read this one too: “Leave A Stain”

Growing up, we sat down at the table every night as a family for dinner.

We said “grace” (a prayer) before eating.

Dinner was always homemade. Often, some element of the dinner came from our garden.

And my favorite part of the story… we ALWAYS had dessert.

Yeah, I grew up Old School.

For many years, we memorized a chapter of Scripture together as a family—verse by verse, night after night.

I still have many of those verses—and even chapters—committed to memory.

My mom used a simple motivation to get us to memorize the verse of the day…

Dessert.

You didn’t get your dessert until you memorized the verse.

Dessert motivated me. I never went a night without having my dessert.

It still brings a smile to my face thinking about how my dad was usually the last one at the table, struggling to memorize the verse, and getting frustrated that everyone else had already received their dessert.

I’m thankful for my parents who taught me the importance of reading, knowing, believing, memorizing, and living God’s Word. It’s kinda Old School, I know… but so good.

I want to pass on that same high regard for God’s Word to the next generation.

There’s a verse I love in the Bible describing one man’s commitment to God’s Word:

“Ezra had committed himself to studying the Revelation of God, to living it, and to teaching… its truth and ways.” (Ezra 7.10 MSG)

Ezra was motivated. He committed himself to discovering God’s Word.

I don’t know, maybe he used dessert as a motivation too.

All I know is: he held God’s Word in high regard. He valued it. He devoted himself to discovering what God is saying through the written Word.

He studied it.

He lived (obeyed) it.

And he shared what he learned and lived with others.

Old School? Yes, definitely.

Worth it? Absolutely. We need it!