Posts by: Brian Dolleman

Some have an eye for design. Others have an eye for color.

Some have an eye for the big picture. Others have an eye for detail.

Some have an eye for bargains and deals. Others have an eye for luxury.

These traits can be tied to personality and are often detectable at a young age.

With some, it would be easy to assume they were born that way.

There is at least one trait, however, that no one is born with…

I’m talking about generosity.

It’s not a reflex. It’s counterintiutive.

Generosity is developed and nurtured—it starts small, and it grows.

The Bible talks about having a generous eye: “He who has a generous eye will be blessed.” (Proverbs 22.9 NKJV)

We’re not born looking for opportunities to share, give and be generous.

Just think about one of the first lessons we are taught as young children… sharing.

The generous eye isn’t a talent some have and others don’t because of their personality.

You develop your eye for it.

You start where you’re at—with the resources you have right now…

And you increase that generous quality in you.

I meet with a group of guys each week.

We’re reading John Maxwell’s book—The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader.

One of the chapters we discussed yesterday was about how leaders are able to draw people to them.

Here are a few of the points…

1. Love Life.
People enjoy leaders who enjoy life. Think of the people you want to spend time with. How would you describe them? Grumpy? Bitter? Depressed? Of course not. They’re celebrators, not complainers. They’re passionate about life. If you want to attract people, you need to be like the people you enjoy being with.

2. Put a “10” on Every Person’s Head.
One of the best things you can do for people—which also attracts them to you—is to expect the best of them. I call it putting a “10” on everyone’s head. It helps others think more highly of themselves, at the same time, it also helps you. Benjamin Disraeli once said, “The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches but to reveal to him his own.” If you appreciate others, encourage them and help them reach their potential, they will love you for it.

3. Give People Hope.
If you can be the person who bestows the gift of hope on others, they will be attracted to you, and will be forever grateful.

4. Share Yourself.
People love leaders who share themselves and their life journeys. As you lead people, give of yourself. Share wisdom, resources, and even special occasions.

The bottom line is being others-minded.

As you talk to others, determine how much of the conversation is concentrated on yourself. Determine to tip the balance in favor of focusing on others.

The next time you meet someone for the first time, try your best to make a good impression. Learn the person’s name. Focus on his interests. Be positive. And most important, treat him as a “10.” If you can do this for a day, you can do it every day.

Make it your long-term goal to share your resources with others. Think about how you can add value to five people this year.

Some things in life are counterintuitive.

In an early Bill Cosby comedy routine, he spoke about driving home at night in terrible winter weather—and feeling his car begin to skid.

Flashing through his brain was a lesson from Driver’s Education: “If the car begins to skid, turn in the direction of the skid.”

Cosby described how, at that moment, this Driver’s Ed advice seemed like complete nonsense…

Like if you’re about to get punched in the face, someone suggesting you should lean your face into the punch to minimize the pain.

So what did Cosby do? He turned the wheel the other way and ended up going 90 miles an hour sideways.

He should have turned in the direction of the skid.

Yes, some things in life are counterintuitive…

Like generosity.

Logic would say, if you give—you will have less and your world will be smaller.

But generosity has the opposite effect.

“The world of the generous gets larger and larger; the world of the stingy gets smaller and smaller. The one who blesses others is abundantly blessed; those who help others are helped.” (Proverbs 11.24, 25 MSG)

Amazing, isn’t it? The world of the generous gets larger and larger while the world of the stingy just gets smaller.

“Be wary of the shrewd advice that tells you how to get ahead on your own. Giving, not getting is the way… Stinginess impoverishes.” (Mark 4.24 MSG)

In our culture, the intuition of most people leans towards GIMME, GETTIN’ and personal GAIN, while the counterintuitive way is one of GENEROSITY, GRATEFULNESS, and GIVING.

Love causes us to be generous.

What we love—we invest in and we give to.

In fact, God is the ultimate example of this.

“For God loved the world so much that he gave…” (John 3.16 NLT)

Giving flows from love.

Some things are better later.

In my opinion, lasagna is one of those things.

I always like it better on the second or third day.

When showing up at a party—I’d rather arrive late than early.

Bed time is better later too…

But not everything is for later.

Some things are better now.

In particular, I’m thinking about generosity.

Generosity isn’t something to hold off on, wait for, or reserve for a later date.

Unfortunately, some view it that way. They think…

“When I am rich.”

“When I am more holy.”

Most of us believe that being selfish is unacceptable.

However, many still see generosity as something for another day—like when they arrive on the big stage or eventually become more virtuous.

The truth is, generosity doesn’t make a grand entrance later. Instead, it always starts small.

My parents taught me this principle before I was making enough money to pay income taxes.

They taught me to give from my paper route income…

And I’m thankful they did.

Giving a few dollars THEN set the stage for future hundreds—and eventually thousands, LATER.

You see, the capacity of your generosity LATER is established by your generosity NOW.

“If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones.” (Luke 16.10 NLT)

Your generosity LATER is being prophesied about by your generosity NOW.

When it comes to generosity, don’t wait for later.

Start where you are at, right now.

A rhetorical question is asked for effect with no answer expected—because the answer is obvious.

Rhetorical questions encourage the listener to think about what the obvious answer to the question must be.

Example…

How come no one ever says, “It’s only a game” when their team is winning?

The Bible asks rhetorical questions.

When Paul wrote to the church of Corinth, he explained that God’s Spirit uniquely empowers us with gifts to minister.

“A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other.” (1 Corinthians 12.7 NLT)

“There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit is the source of them all.” (1 Corinthians 12.4 NLT)

“God works in different ways, but it is the same God who does the work in all of us.” (1 Corinthians 12.6 NLT)

“He alone decides which gift each person should have.” (1 Corinthians 12.11 NLT)

So the Bible tells us that there are a variety of gifts—all given by God’s Spirit.

Here comes the rhetorical questions…

“Are we all apostles? Are we all prophets? Are we all teachers? Do we all have the power to do miracles? Do we all have the gift of healing? Do we all have the ability to speak in unknown languages? Do we all have the ability to interpret unknown languages?” (1 Corinthians 12.29, 30 NLT)

You know the answer to these 7 questions, don’t you?

It’s obvious.

We’re not, we don’t, we can’t.

But then Paul tells us what to do…

“Earnestly desire and zealously cultivate the greatest and best gifts…” (1 Corinthians 12.31 AMP)

So even though it’s obvious that we haven’t been given the same gifts and abilities, we should eagerly desire to be empowered by God’s Spirit with those gifts that are most helpful and beneficial.

I want to be used by God and empowered by his Spirit.

How about you? (See that? Another rhetorical question.)

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TO DO

—Read: 1 Peter 4.8-11 (NLT)
—Pray: Ask God to empower you with a gift that makes a difference in the lives of others.

I have a confession to make.

I’m “that” guy.

I’m a charismatic, a pentecostal.

From my point of view, the gifts of the Spirit and the miracles of God are for today.

Yes, I believe God still heals. I believe God does supernatural things.

And yes, I speak in tongues…

A lot actually.

I prefer to call it “praying with the Spirit.”

I do this when words fail me and I don’t know what to pray for or how to pray about a particular situation.

I do this when I’m worshiping. I even pray with the Spirit while driving in my car (alone of course).

Maybe you think I’m weird. I can’t blame you if you do.

For me, praying with the Spirit isn’t about being weird.

I’m not doing it to prove something or put on a show.

Most people won’t ever hear me pray with the Spirit.

But God does.

He knows what I’m saying. In fact, it’s Him who is prompting me to say it.

My attitude about praying with the Spirit in public settings (like church services) is the same as the Apostle Paul’s: I’d rather have a few intelligible words spoken that benefit everyone than 10,000 words in an unknown language.

“I’m grateful to God for the gift of praying in tongues that he gives us for praising him… I enter into this as much or more than any of you. But when I’m in a church assembled for worship, I’d rather say five words that everyone can understand and learn from than say ten thousand that sound to others like gibberish.” (1 Corinthians 14.18, 19 MSG)

So, I guess I’m kinda weird and extremely practical.

As far as church services and other public gatherings go, I want people to understand and “get it.”

How about you?

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TO DO

—Read: 1 Corinthians 12, 14 in the Message Bible.

Shari was asking me about replacing some broken CD players the other day.

I shook my head and said, “Use your iPhone.”

She looked confused. Then she asked, “There’s an iPod in there?”

Yup.

The funny (or sad) thing is—she’s had an iPhone for a few years now, and there has always been an iPod in there.

For whatever reason, the iPod has been a “hidden” feature to her…

It was always there, but she didn’t realize it.

Her iPhone is more powerful than a really nice computer from 1999.

My wife has been carrying around untapped potential.

This makes me wonder…

As Christians, how many of us are walking around with hidden features and untapped potential?

Do we realize what we have? The Spirit of God lives in us!

“The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you.” (Romans 8.11 NLT)

Sometimes, we’re like my wife with her iPhone—unaware of what we’re carrying with us.

Paul wrote to the Corinthians about the “spiritual gifts” God’s Spirit empowers us with: “This is complex and often mis-understood, but I want you to be informed and knowledgeable.” (1 Corinthians 12.1 MSG)

I don’t want my spiritual life to be full of hidden features.

How about you?

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TO DO

—Read: 1 Corinthians 12, 13, and 14.
—Ask yourself: “Has God given me any of these features?”
—Pray: “God, I’m open and willing to be used by you.”

I haven’t kept this a secret: I like to shop.

I don’t play video games, golf, fish, hunt, ski, ride motorcycles, play fantasy football, gamble, or go camping.

So, as far as guys go—I’m pretty low-cost.

There are just two things my wife complains about me spending money on: Starbucks and clothing.

This is rather embarrassing… my clothes take up the bigger section of our closet.

There’s only so much space.

If I don’t ever clean out my closet, there’s no room for new items.

That’s why I like cleaning out my closet.

It makes space for something better.

I think this is true in life.

We have limits.

Cognitive psychologist George A. Miller, in his paper “The Magic Number Seven, Plus or Minus Two: Some Limits on Our Capacity for Processing Information” asserts that the number of objects the average human can hold in working memory is approximately seven.

Recent research has shown that without using “clustering,” the number is more likely three or four.

What’s the point? We have limits.

The average Supermarket carries approximately 45,000 unique items.

Have you ever had a difficult time finding something there?

Yup, we have limits.

How about friends? How many friendships can we actually maintain?

British anthropologist Robin Dunbar—in his book “How Many Friends Does One Person Need,” says we can only keep friendships with 150 people at any given time.

We have limits… and those limits require us to let go of one thing in order to make room for another.

Sometimes we have to unlearn something in order to learn something new.

Sometimes we have to stop one activity in order to make time for another.

Sometimes we have to remove a thing to make space for something better.

Jesus told the following story about limits and taking up space…

“A man planted a fig tree in his garden and came again and again to see if there was any fruit on it, but he was always disappointed. Finally, he said to his gardener, ‘I’ve waited three years, and there hasn’t been a single fig! Cut it down. It’s just taking up space in the garden.’

The gardener answered, ‘Sir, give it one more chance. Leave it another year, and I’ll give it special attention and plenty of fertilizer. If we get figs next year, fine. If not, then you can cut it down.’” (Luke 13.6-9 NLT)

Notice what the land owner said about the tree: “It’s just taking up space in the garden.”

In our lives, things take up space—and there is limited space.

Consider…

Is the stuff taking up space in my life fruitful or is it just wasting space?

Maybe it’s time to clean out my closet and make room for something new.

Maybe it’s time let go of some lower things so that I am able to embrace higher things.