How Not To Ask Someone To Marry You

Full disclosure: I’m not an expert on this subject.

In fact, I’ve only done this once and I plan on keeping it that way.

Even though I’m not an expert, I do have a winning record—I’m 1-0.

So, let me get right to the point. Here’s HOW NOT to ask someone to marry you:

“You wouldn’t want to get married, would you?”

“I was kinda-sorta thinking about getting married—but only if you want. Either way is fine. Just wondering.”

“Maybe someday we could, like, share a residence or get married or something?”

Now, for the HOW TO ask:

“Will you marry me?”

Do you see the difference? This version is direct, uncluttered, clear, simple… it gets right to the point and it demands an answer.

We refer to it as, “Popping THE question.”

I think there’s a good lesson here about communication…

When asking for something, get right to it. Pop the question. Ask. Be direct, uncluttered, clear, and simple. Leave no doubt in their mind what you’re asking for.

Similarly, when making a statement, MAKE IT. Say what you’re needing to say. Don’t let it get all muddy. Don’t send too many messages or mixed messages. Just get to the point. Say it!

I recently saw a sign for “Store Hours” that said:

Open most days about 9 or 10. Occasionally as early as 7, but somedays as late or 12 or 1.

We close about 5:30 or 6, occasionally about 4 or 5 but sometimes as late as 11 or 12.

Somedays or afternoons we aren’t here at all and lately I’ve been here just about all the time except when I’m someplace else.

I’m sure it was a joke.

It’s certainly no way to communicate!

Too many messages. Mixed messages. Muddy. Not clear. Confusing. Frustrating.

Don’t let your communication be a joke. Don’t sound like that sign.

Instead, be clear. Pop the question. Make that statement.

Get to the point as quickly as possible.

Say it!