Category "Life With God"

Learning To Listen

- - Life With God, Uncategorized

From Trevor Hudson’s book A Mile in My Shoes: Cultivating Compassion.

We grow toward Christlikeness as we become more caring. A non-caring Christ-follower is a contradiction in terms. However, we cannot show real concern, especially for those in pain, unless we first take time to listen.

We can only love those to whom we genuinely listen.

For this reason, if we intend to put our lives alongside those who suffer and reflect to them the compassion of Christ, our presence must always be a listening one. This could be why James encouraged his readers to “be quick to listen, slow to speak” (James 1.19).

Christians are not well known for their listening.

Often our own inability to listen well has made others feel isolated, unaccepted, and unloved. Thankfully, we can all learn to listen better. While few people seem naturally gifted as listeners, most of us need to develop this vital gateway to compassion. Few activities require as much energy, effort, and patience. Involving at least three basic steps, good listening enables us to grow in the Compassionate Way.

1. Stop Talking.

2. Give total attention to the one speaking.

3. Communicate understanding of what is shared.

Against the backdrop of these basic guidelines, I invite you to asses the quality of your current listening ability.

Growing in self-awareness about our listening ability often initiates a fresh commitment to become a better listener. Here are ten straightforward yes or no questions to consider. A positive answer to any number of them could… Read More

Maybe We Should Talk To Strangers

I’m a typical Seattleite—polite, but in a distancy-kind-of-way. Definitely not chatty. Socially cocooned.

Whenever I read about the Seattle Freeze, I get it… I mean I really get it. But maybe we should talk to strangers.

That’s the conclusion I’m arriving at after watching Kio Stark’s TED Talk.

Here are my favorite lines from Why You Should Talk to Strangers:

“There are… huge benefits to using our senses instead of our fears. The first one is that it liberates us. When you think about it, using perception instead of categories is much easier said than done. Categories are something our brains use.”

When it comes to people, it’s sort of a shortcut for learning about them.

“We see male, female, young, old, black, brown, white, stranger, friend, and we use the information in that box. It’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s a road to bias. And it means we’re not thinking about people as individuals.”

Also—that description she used, “civil inattention,” um, wow. And ouch.

Her line about how “a dog or baby is social conduit” is funny and true.

I especially loved the part about how “we tend to meet disclosure with disclosure, even with strangers.”

Basically, I’m thinking the Seattle Freeze could use some… Read More

This Was The Year

Today is the first day of September. My daughter is off for her first day of high school. Yesterday, she picked up her driver’s permit.

On Sunday, I begin a new series at the church called, “A Year of_______________.”

The start of a new year (whether academic or calendar) usually has us thinking about goals and changes we’d like to make.

Norwegian jazz artist Ine Hoem has a song about expectations for a new year… it’s… Read More

He Told Me He Was Muslim & Asked If He Could Attend My Church

 For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation. —2 Corinthians 5.19

A few years ago, I noticed a new family at the church – husband and wife along with their three kids. They were good at slipping in and out of church quickly… but I hunted them down, introduced myself, got their names. I made it a point to chat with them – even if just for a few seconds – each Sunday.

After a few months, the husband asked if we could meet. He seemed like he had something heavy to share with me. At lunch, he told me how he had served time in prison – about a decade. After getting out, he met his wife. She’s the one who got the family coming to church.

Then he got to the point. He said, “In prison, I… Read More

A Place From Which Life Can Be Viewed & Lived More Redemptively

I recently read (and absolutely loved) a book by David Dark called The Sacredness of Questioning Everything. Among the many sections I highlighted in the book is this line:

For some, their religion is nothing more than a special interest group, a bastion of offendedness and anger, the powerhouse of the saved – rather than a place from which life can be viewed and lived more redemptively.

I want… Read More

Shari’s Unscripted Commentary

Each Sunday, when I’ve finished my sermon, Shari joins me on stage for a few moments of unscripted commentary. I get the sense that this is what people most enjoy about the “sermon time.” And it’s not included on the videos we post online…

Interesting thing, that.

Maybe the best bits about church can never be accessed via the internet.

The bread and the cup. Water baptism. Child dedication. Hugs. Standing in prayer with our brothers and sisters in Christ – shedding tears together, celebrating together. Serving on a Sunday. Those few moments of unscripted commentary.

Anyway, back to Shari’s unscripted commentary…

In my sermon, I had read from Sally Lloyd-Jones’ “The Jesus Storybook Bible” – the story of the Prodigal Son, which she titles Running Away.

“The son takes the money and goes on a long, long journey to a far off country. And everything’s wonderful and perfect—for a while. He can go wherever he wants, do whatever he wants, be whoever he wants. He is the boss, he is free!

Sometimes he gets a strange, hungry, homesick feeling inside his heart, but then he just eats more, or drinks more, or buys more clothes, or goes to more parties until it goes away.”

Shari said how she… Read More

I Know Their Church Faces & Their Church Clothes But I Don’t Know Them

Shari was telling me about this podcast she enjoyed listening to – it was about a business woman who was encouraged to participate in a group with other business leaders whom she didn’t know. The purpose of the group was so that people could share their plans, ideas, concepts… and receive input, feedback, encouragement, and helpful insights.

The woman said she was surprised to have received such help and made a number of life-long friends from this group of people who would otherwise have never found their way together.

Shari said, “This is church. It’s what church does – bringing people together who wouldn’t normally be together. We open ourselves up to one another, we love and encourage and help one another, and build a number of surprising life-long friendships.”

She paused for a moment, then continued, “But not always. People aren’t always willing to… Read More

To Give Space

An excerpt from Jean Vanier’s book Community & Growth:

To welcome is one of the signs of true human and Christian maturity.

It is not only to open one’s door and one’s home to someone. It is to give space to someone in one’s heart, space for that person to be and to grow; space where the person knows that he or she is accepted just as they are, with their wounds and their gifts.

That implies the existence of a quiet and peaceful place in the heart where people can find a resting place. If the heart is not peaceful, it cannot welcome.

* [I want to add a little note here on the subject of having a peaceful heart: Plato suggested a metaphor for the mind—that our ideas are like birds fluttering around in our brains... but in order for the birds to ever settle, we need periods of calm and quiet, solitude and reflection.]

To welcome is to be open to reality as it is, with the least possible filtering.

I have discovered that I have many filters within my own self where I select and modify the reality I want to welcome: the reality of the world, of people, of God and of the Word of God. I select what pleases me, boosts my ego and gives me a sense of worth. I reject that which causes inner pain or disturbance or a feeling of helplessness; that which may bring up guilt feelings or anger or a broken sexuality. We all have filters created from our… Read More