Brian Dolleman's Blog

Sometimes we “love” in order to get.

The motivation is selfish—it has an agenda.

There is a different kind of love: one that chooses, prefers, esteems, and gives value and worth to its recipients.

This is “agape” love—God’s kind of love.

God loves us this way, not because he stands to gain something from us, but because he delights in giving value and worth to us.

This is how we should love too.

“My dear friends, if this is how God loved us like this, we certainly ought to love each other.” (1 John 4.11 MSG)

Love is a verb.

It is seen, felt, heard, and experienced.

It is demonstrated, communicated, expressed, and given.

“Love is the best sermon anyone will ever experience.”
—Matthew Barnett

“Loving people where they are today helps them become who God wants them to be tomorrow.”
—Aubrielle Holt

“It’s much easier to find love for people when you’re madly in love with the God who created them.”
—Kelsey Taylor

Being nice to some people can make you feel like you’ve been trying to hug a porcupine (ouch!).

Not everyone returns your kindness with a generous portion of love and appreciation.

Instead of thanking you with a pat on the back, they stab you in the backside with a toxic porcupine quill.

Here’s the deal: the world is full of porcupines…

And porcupines need love too.

Stop and think about it.

Porcupines have a tough exterior to protect themselves.

They’re tired of getting hurt and rejected—so they hurt and reject others.

It’s a sad cycle: hurt people hurt people, get hurt some more… (repeat).

Rather than contributing to the cycle, let’s break it.

Instead of kicking porcupines, let’s love ‘em.

‘Cause porcupines need love too.

Here’s what Jesus said about it:

“You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’

I’m challenging that.

I’m telling you to love your enemies.

Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst.

When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves.

This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty.

If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus?

Anybody can do that.

If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal?

Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that.

In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow up.

You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it.

Live out your God-created identity.

Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.”

—Jesus (Matthew 5.43-48 MSG)

I read something from comedy writer Julius Sharpe yesterday.

He said, “If I’m going to obey ‘Love thy neighbor,’ I need to move.”

Funny.

And sad.

It’s funny because we feel that way too (if I’m really supposed to love my neighbors, I’m gonna need some new neighbors—‘cause there’s nothing to love about these ones).

It’s sad because we know the point of that teaching (love anyone and everyone around you) but we’re desperately looking for a way out—an exception clause, a loophole, or an excuse to justify not having to love THEM.

Speaking of loving the unlovable ones…

That’s exactly what God did with us.

He didn’t move away from us because we were unlovable.

He did the opposite—he moved into the neighborhood. (John 1.14 MSG)

“But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!) (Ephesians 2.4, 5 NLT)

When we were at our worst, God moved into the neighborhood.

He loved us—even though there was nothing to love.

Maybe we struggle with loving unlovable “neighbors” because we’ve forgotten how unlovable we once were.

We didn’t earn God’s love. We didn’t deserve it.
?We didn’t become the target of God’s love because of how cute, cuddly, and lovable we were.

Nope. We were dead because of our sins.

We were completely unlovable.

And He loved us anyway.

Never forget that.

Because He loved us anyway, we can love others (anyway).

We don’t need to move and we don’t need new “neighbors.”

We don’t need to surround ourselves with cute, cuddly, lovable people.

There are some unlovable people who are really needing some undeserved, unearned love right now.

Will we be in the neighborhood for them?

Did you ever sing “Jesus Loves Me” when you were a kid?

The lyrics say, “Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world—red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight, Jesus loves the little children of the world.”

The point of this classic kid’s song is: Jesus loves us all—even though we’re unique, look different, and come from different backgrounds.

The Bible tells us, “God so loved the world, that he gave His one and only Son…”

God loves the world—not just one nation, race, economic class, political persuasion, culture, or subculture.

I keep thinking about this simple idea: when Jesus ministered to people, what kind of “cars” were in the parking lot?

Rich people’s cars?

Poor people’s cars?

Eco-friendly cars?

Gas-guzzling cars?

Imports?

American-made?

Cars with political bumper stickers everywhere?

Cars with bumpin’ sound systems?

Trucks with lift kits and mud all over ‘em?

Soccer mom vans?

Flashy cars?

Humble cars?

Ghetto-fabulous cars?

I’m pretty sure I know the answer…

Yes. All of them.

For God so loved the world…

The church’s parking lot should be full of these cars—diverse, unique, different, special and unusual.

Why? Because they reflect the people who drive them.

We don’t want a parking lot full of one kind of car!

Let’s take our love for people to a whole notha level… and love people the way God does.

Let’s enlarge our circle of love to include people who drive expensive cars and cheap cars, eco-friendly cars and gas-guzzling cars, American-made and imports…

You get what I’m saying.

In our staff meeting this week, we talked about things we’d like to tell you—but usually don’t.

Here are a few of those things (from various staff members):

I’m a real person—a lot like you, actually. I’m not a monk; I don’t meditate all day. I have family, friends, hobbies, interests and stuff like that.

Along the way, I will more than likely, unknowingly offend you. Just know ahead of time—it’s not my intention. I’m human and will make some mistakes. Yes, I preach extending grace to others, and I (and the rest of the staff) need grace from you too.

It’s hard for me to see you on Sundays—it’s almost bittersweet. I want to sit down and have coffee with you, spend 30 minutes hearing about your life, your fears, your concerns… and to pray with you. The fact that I have time for only brief “hellos” in the lobby pains me. I want to be connecting deeper with you, but time doesn’t allow. Please don’t feel sidelined if I seem rushed on a Sunday morning.

It’s not always the devil. Sometimes you’re just making really dumb choices.

Please don’t hang back, waiting for people to reach out to you. Initiate. Be friendly and make friends at church.

As far as kids go, we can only partner with and encourage you parents. We will do everything we can to teach your children biblical truths, equip them and encourage their faith in the hour each week they are here. Remember: there are another 167 hours each week.

We can’t do this alone. We need each other. Just giving money isn’t enough. We need you to buy-in, serve and invest in others, share your talents and abilities, and build the church. Bystanders and observers can have lots of expectations and critique. Participants have a vested interest and want to see the church succeed.

We don’t ask you to give because we get something extra when offerings are good or get less when offerings are bad. Our salaries are set, budgeted, and approved by our board. We ask you to give because God set it up that way. We ask you to give because we really believe you will be blessed when you put God first in your finances. We (all the staff) give. We do what we’re asking you to do.

When I forget your name, I’m so sorry. You do matter. Sometimes, if I’ve not seen you in a while, I just forget. (You know, you have an advantage because you can see our names in print). Please be patient and gracious. If it looks like I might be struggling for your name, just remind me. We’ll both feel better.

Do you know what a risk it is for our pastors to share from the platform? Anything they say (or wear) can be misunderstood or judged. You might disagree with something said or it might be taken in a way that wasn’t intended. Let grace reign in your heart. Pray for those you don’t understand and ask God to give you a greater heart of love and compassion for the world around you. Love conquers all.

It’s a privilege to lead you. We love you and we love our church. Thank you for being part of it with us.

This is not a spectator sport.

It needs your participation, involvement, and action.

What am I talking about?

Church.

From its start, it was characterized by action.

On the day the church began, Peter preached a sermon to a crowd that had gathered.

At the end of his sermon, the people responded, “What should we do?” (Acts 2.37)

What should we DO?

They were ready for action.

The next few verses describe what they did…

They BELIEVED (vs 41)

They were BAPTIZED (vs 41)

They were ADDED to the church (vs 41)

They DEVOTED themselves to the church and its cause (vs 42)

They GAVE generously, sacrificially (vs 44, 45)

They WORSHIPED together (vs 46)

They MET together regularly at church and in homes (vs 46)

They PRAISED God (vs 47)

They ENJOYED having a good reputation in their community (vs 47)

They GREW in numbers (vs 47)

When you read that list, it’s obvious the church got some serious action from that first group of believers.

Is your church getting some action from you?

Nobody wants to be displaced, misplaced, or replaced.

We want to fit, belong, participate, and contribute.

We want to have reason for our being.

We want to make a difference.

So, here’s some good news…

There is a place where we belong.

It’s somewhere God placed us, on purpose—in just the right spot.

“But in fact God has placed the parts in the body (the church), every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.” (1 Corinthians 12.18, 27 NIV)

There’s no question God wants to do incredible things through the church.

His plans for the church are huge—bigger than we could ever imagine.

The question is:

Will you be in place to experience it, participate in it, and contribute to it?

You need your church—more than you realize, and your church needs you—more than you think.

Don’t be displaced, misplaced, or replaced.

Fit. Belong. Participate. Contribute.

Embrace your place.

You know that feeling of being caught in-between?

I do.

It’s not a fun feeling…

You know that regardless of your decision, you will hurt, fail, disappoint, or annoy one side (and sometimes both).

The thing is: both sides are important to you.

Honestly, one of the biggest tensions I feel as a pastor is being caught in-between what many Christians want and what God’s mission for the church is (what He wants).

Generally speaking, most Christians want church to be safe, comfortable, and familiar.

That’s understandable.

It sounds good and makes sense.

But God has something different in mind.

God’s wants the church to reach, rescue, and restore people.

His mission for the church includes: being a hospital for the sin-sick and a place where prodigals are received with open arms.

And that’s not exactly a picture of safe, comfortable, or familiar.

It’s your body.

Nobody knows your body like you do.

You’re aware of it all the time.

It works for you, and sometimes it works against you.

You want your body healthy, whole, and working.

We (the church) are His body – “The church is Christ’s body…” (Ephesians 1.23 CEV)

He knows us better than anyone else does.

He’s aware of us all the time.

We work for Him, and sometimes (unfortunately) we work against Him.

He wants His body healthy, whole, and working.

We are the church. We are His body. He wants us healthy, whole, and working.