Brian Dolleman's Blog

Do you have good lines?

I’m not talking about clever sayings or effective pick-up lines.

I don’t mean lines that develop on your face because you laugh so much.

I’m talking about necessary boundaries that keep you living—healthy, whole, and safe.

Two years ago, my wife and I hiked the Grand Canyon.

We started at Bright Angel, hiked all the way down to the Colorado River and spent the night at Phantom Ranch.

The hike was about 10 miles one-way with an elevation change of around 4,500 feet.

There were plenty of signs, markers, and warnings along the way.

With sheer cliffs dropping thousands of feet at the edge of the trail—I honored the boundary markers faithfully.

These were good lines—necessary boundaries that kept me alive, healthy, whole, and safe.

We all need good lines.

Boundaries and borders help define what belongs to us and what doesn’t belong to us.

In the case of the Grand Canyon hike, certain parts of the Grand Canyon do not belong to hikers (and that’s good).

Perhaps there are some good lines, border markers or boundary signs that are missing in your life.

Maybe you’ve been flirting with the edge of some territory that doesn’t belong to you.

It could be time to redraw the lines and establish new boundaries.

We all need good lines.

Do you have some bad lines?

I don’t mean cheesy pick-up lines or corny sayings…

I’m talking about false boundaries that keep you from living as you could, living as you should.

Quoting Seth Godin from his new book Poke the Box:

“My dog wears one of those Invisible Fence collars. There’s a wire around our small yard, and if she gets near it, her collar buzzes. If she goes a bit farther, she gets a small shock. (I think she’s been shocked exactly once.) The dog associates the buzz with the shock and never goes near the edge.

The thing is, the wire broke a year ago, so the system doesn’t work. But Woodie now associates the collar with the behavior, and leaves the yard only if we take the collar off.

The boundary is in her head, not in the system.”

So, back to my question—do you have some bad lines?

Do you have false boundaries that keep you from living as you could, living as you should?

Are you “playing old tapes” that reinforce your fears, insecurities, hurts and issues?

Maybe you’re like Woodie, Seth Godin’s dog.

Maybe the boundary is just in your head.

Maybe you have some bad lines.

Paul wrote to the Corinthian church, encouraging them to remove the bad lines:

“Dear Corinthians, I can’t tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide-open, spacious life. We didn’t fence you in. The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren’t small, but you’re living them in a small way. I’m speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection. Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively!”
(2 Corinthians 6.11-13 MSG)

My paraphrase:

We’re not fencing you in or shocking you with a dog collar—the limits are just in your head. You’ve got some bad lines. Time to erase those lines and live big, live full… live as you could, live as you should.

Big grapes or tiny grasshoppers, which has captured your attention?

Let me explain: when the 12 spies went into the Promised Land, they returned with a report of their findings…

“They cut down a branch with a single cluster of grapes so large that it took two of them to carry it on a pole between them! They also brought back samples of the pomegranates and figs.”

“All the people we saw were huge. Next to them we felt like grasshoppers.”

Joshua and Caleb saw big grapes in their Promised Land.

The other 10 spies saw themselves as grasshoppers.

Joshua and Caleb said, “We can do this—Let’s go now!”

The other 10 spies said, “We can’t. We’re too small.

Big grapes = God’s provision and blessing.

Little grasshoppers = our own smallness, insecurities and weaknesses.

In your life, which has captured your attention—the big grapes or little grasshoppers?

Big grapes. Tiny grasshoppers. What are you seeing?

Your faith perspective will affect your future position.

Every obstacle is an opportunity in disguise.

Yes, there is pain in progress, but don’t forget… there is also pain without progress.

Pain is part of life. Whether you’re growing or sliding backwards, there will be moments of discomfort and pain.

If we’re going to have pain either way, we might as well choose pain and progress.

Let’s keep going, growing, learning, advancing, moving forward…

‘Cause our best days are ahead and we see big grapes!

Joints are points of connection.

They are important, necessary, and can often be a source of pain.

Ephesians 4.16 says, “He makes the whole body (the church) fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.” (NLT)

God put us (the church) together. According to Him, we fit together perfectly…

And I think God has a great sense of humor.

What a strange combination we are!

Who but God would have ever imagined us together?

Most of the pain and drama in the church comes FROM people TO people..

Most of the pain in the church is joint pain—where we fit together and how we work (or don’t work) together.

I’ve heard pastors say, “Ministry would be easy if it weren’t for all the people.”

The answer to “pain up in da joint” isn’t amputation (although a case could be made for amputation when one part of the body is stuck and threatens the life of the entire body—like James Franco cutting off his arm in the movie 127 Hours).

God brought us together and put us together.

Individual parts don’t live when separated from the body.

God’s plan for us never included isolation.

The truth is, we’re better together.

In the book of Acts, it says “Those who believed were baptized and ADDED to the church.” (Acts 2.41).

Each time someone is added, a new point of connection is established in the church—a new joint forms…

And that is why the church should always be having some growing pains.

Pain up in da joint is a sign of life, growth, and health.

Growth comes in waves…

And it seems to have a cycle that goes something like this:

Growth—Discomfort—Working thru the Pain—More Growth.

In its earliest days, the church experienced waves of growth and cycles of growth:

Growth—
“As the believers rapidly multiplied” (Acts 6.1)

Discomfort—
“There were rumblings of discontent” (Acts 6.1)

Working thru the Pain—
“The twelve called a meeting and said…” (Acts 6.2)

More Growth—
“So God’s message continued to spread. The number of believers greatly increased” (Acts 6.7)

We’re always somewhere in the cycle of growth.

I think how we deal with the pain/discomfort of growth will determine our future growth.

My daughter will occasionally complain about growing pains in her legs.

The truth is, nobody likes pain or discomfort…

But pain is sometimes a very natural, normal, and even necessary part of the growth process.

If you’re growing, you will likely experience some discomfort or pain.

People are suckers for pain-free formulas, schemes and magic pills….

“Get rich quick!”

“Lose weight fast without dieting or exercise!”

The Bible says, “Wealth from get-rich schemes quickly disappears; wealth from hard work grows over time.” (Proverbs 13.11 NLT)

Pain-free growth is usually short-lived, but steady growth over time (with some pain) has staying power.

When Israel crossed over from the desert-side of the Jordan River into the Promised Land, their new address meant change and growing pains.

One major change was how they got food.

God no longer provided manna (bread from heaven) for the people.

The Israelites now had to harvest crops and store food for the other seasons.

This took effort, planning, work, new systems, new thinking, and new ways of doing things.

For 40 years, they received manna in the desert…

No planting. No irrigating. No weeding. No harvesting. No storing.

Now, they had to deal with the pain of change.

Growth and pain often go hand in hand.

As Israel received their inheritance—their Promised Land, they were simultaneously growing through the discomfort and pain of change.

A total absence of discomfort or pain in your life may not be a good sign.

Life was pretty easy for the Israelites in the desert…

But the desert wasn’t their destination—it was just a detour on the way to their destiny.

Don’t get stuck in a life of ease, comfort and no-growth.

Embrace the discomfort of growth.

Remember, growing pains are a good sign.

We will not hide these truths from our children…

We will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the Lord, about his power and his mighty wonders…

So the next generation might know them—even the children not yet born. (Psalm 78.4, 6 NLT)

Those who build an empire build for themselves.

Those who are building the Kingdom—they are building for others.

Jesus said, “I have others… I must bring them also.” (John 10.16)

Progeny is a funny word (at least I think it’s funny, which is why I rarely use it).

One of the meanings of “progeny” is: descendants, children or offspring.

Not everyone has children, not everyone has progeny.

In the Bible, Absalom had no descendants.

Neither did Joshua.

While Absalom built a “monument to himself” as his legacy, Joshua fought for the younger generation.

Although both men had no kids (physically—in the natural), Joshua saw himself as a father…

He had a vested interest in what would happen after his lifetime.

He adopted an entire generation, a younger generation—as his own.

When they succeeded, he felt victory personally.

When they failed, he felt the pain of defeat personally.

Having children is messy and expensive business (think diapers, temper tantrums, injuries, the junior high years, teenage drivers, college tuition, weddings and grandchildren).

Part of God’s plan for mankind is that we “be fruitful and multiply.”

Like I said, not everyone has children (physically, in the natural)…

But we all can—and should—have “spiritual” progeny.

We can be like Joshua.

We can invest in the lives of those who are coming up around us.

We can fight for the next generation(s).

We can be fruitful and multiply.

We can, and we should.

The measure of our impact isn’t in what we have done, but in what those who come after us are able to do.

Our vision must be generational, reaching beyond what is good for us—to what is best for future generations.

Ken Malmin recently said “It’s the second or third generation in a church that is the true test of how wise the first generation was.”

In the story of Israel crossing over into their Promised Land, only two of the twelve original “spies” made it in to the new territory (Joshua and Caleb).

The other spies, along with that entire generation, spent their lives in the desert.

They didn’t want to cross over.

They were scared of the new territory.

They’d become comfortable where they were.

They’d lost their sense of adventure.

Their vision wasn’t future-focused.

They cared more about avoiding new challenges than setting up the next generation for success.

But God hadn’t led his people out into the wilderness so they could stay there—He was taking them into the new territory, the Promised Land…

Joshua led the charge—he fought for the land and he organized the distribution of that land.

Joshua made sure the next generation received their inheritance.

At this point, Joshua and Caleb were much older than everyone else.

They weren’t fighting for themselves anymore.

They were fighting for the next generation.

In contrast to Joshua and Caleb, Absalom (another Bible character from the time of the kings) didn’t think generationally…

His vision was all about himself.

Absalom was kind of like Narcissus—he was in love with himself.

The Bible says when he cut his hair, he would have it weighed. Uh, that’s just weird!

“During his lifetime, Absalom had built a monument to himself in the King’s Valley, for he said, ‘I have no son to carry on my name.’ He named the monument after himself, and it is known as Absalom’s Monument…” (2 Samuel 18.18 NLT)

Yikes! A monument to self.

When we fail to see generationally, it’s easy to make everything about self.

When we make everything about self, we build a lifeless monument—just like Absalom did.

The way I see it, we have a choice…

We can either build a lifeless monument to self or leave a lasting legacy.

Let’s be like Joshua and Caleb: let’s fight for the next generation and be used by God to leave a lasting legacy.