Brian Dolleman's Blog

I remember…

TV’s with those two dials you turned to adjust the picture.

Those denim jackets with the fluffy white stuff lining.

When everyone had to have a bread machine.

The Motorola StarTAC.

Laser light shows.

The Happy Song.

Rotary phones.

The Kingdome.

Record stores.

T.J. Hooker.

Borax.

VHS.

Almost Live!

Flakey Jake’s.

Chip Hanauer.

Cassette tapes.

Howard Jones.

Howard Cosell.

The Bon Marche’

Fredrick & Nelson.

The Thompson Twins.

The Seattle SuperSonics.

Parachute pants / Hammer pants / Zipper pants.

How about you—what do you remember?

Do you know the story of Mephibosheth?

He was a living relative of the now deceased, previous king, Saul.

David, the new king, is from a completely different family—not related at all to Mephibosheth or Saul.

In those days, a living relative of the previous regime was seen as a threat to the throne… and would often be killed or exiled.

And, Mephibosheth already had a difficult life…

His family was broken as the result of tragedy.

An authority figure in his life gave him misinformation—causing him to live in fear.

He grew up poor and disadvantaged.

He was crippled.

Worst of all—he had low self-esteem and saw himself as worthless.

Yet, in spite of all these things, King David sought him out and welcomed him as family.

“I’ve asked you to come so that I can be kind to you… I will give you all the land that once belonged to your grandfather Saul, and you may live here at the palace.” (2 Samuel 9.7)

Mephibosheth was not expecting this show of kindness.

“Why would the king show such kindness to a dead dog like me?” (2 Samuel 9.8)

The image Mephibosheth had of himself: a dead dog.

Or in Spanish, un perro muerto.

Yikes!

But David didn’t see a dead dog.

He saw a person of great worth, a child of God, a member of the family.

“From that time on, Mephibosheth ate regularly with David, as though he was one of his own sons.” (2 Samuel 9.11)

A few observations about this story:

1. David took the initiative to seek out and find the outsider.

2. David brought him to the palace—he didn’t leave Mephibosheth where he was.

3. David ignores the “un perro muerto como yo” comment; he restores dignity and worth instead.

4. David gives him a place at his table.

5. David receives him as family.

I know what it’s like to feel worthless and insignificant, like un perro muerto.

I don’t know about you, but I want to be like more like David…

A grace giver

Enlarging my circle of love

Welcoming those who feel like dead dogs as family to the table

I have grandparent issues.

One set of grandparents were great, but they smoked and drank a lot—so they died way too early.

I wish they could have been at my college graduation, attended my wedding, and met Ashah—their great granddaughter.

The other set of grandparents disowned my family when I was 9 years old. They’ve had nothing to do with us ever since.

That’s always been painful—a sore spot in my family life.

Like I said, I have grandparent issues.

I admit it, I’m scarred.

I am afraid of grumpy old people, because to me, it represents more rejection—and I’ve had enough of that.

I find myself being drawn to happy old people. I want them to adopt me.

That’s why I felt this kid’s tweet when I saw it the other day…

Elyjah Hamilton, a young man in our church, tweeted:

“I really wish I had a grandma and grandpa… I’ll never kno what it feels like to have that… #familyproblems.” 8:59AM Aug 28

Elyjah’s tweet reminded me…

There are lots of people with grandparent, parent, sibling, and family issues.

Lots of people who have experienced rejection.

Lots of people who need to know what real family—the way God intended it—feels like.

Lots of people who are waiting to be adopted into a healthy, happy, whole family.

The Bible says, “God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family… This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.” (Ephesians 1.5 NLT)

Another translation says it was his “purpose and pleasure” to adopt us.

I like that.

And since we’re part of God’s family now, his purpose is our purpose—and his pleasure is our pleasure.

In other words, our mission is to add to the family…

And we’re not reluctant to do it—we’re happy to do it!

We adopt.

We’re always ready for new family members.

We are all about enlarging our circle of love.

We invite, welcome, initiate, accept, include, add, involve, and adopt new family members.

We love, because He first loved us. (1 John 4.19)

Dumb/Annoying Questions I Get Asked Repeatedly:

Did you know you’re balding? (*sigh*)

What happened to your eyebrows? (these are the ones I was born with—they exist, they’re just half invisible)

How come you didn’t want more kids? (did/do/tried/feel totally blessed to have a daughter)

Where is everybody? (evidently we don’t count as people you came here looking for)

Do you have a fantasy football team? (*sigh*)

Good Questions Nobody Asks Me:

Why do people buy mushy pickles? (wow, I’m stumped already!)

How can I pray for our church & pastors?

If I wanted to do something nice for our pastors, what would you recommend?

I’d like to “adopt” some young people in the church—which ones really are in need of some grandparents?

Why haven’t they invented a pickle jar that makes it easier to get the pickles out?

What are the 5 most impacting, life-changing books you’ve read?

What are some keys to staying in 1 place for a long time, being faithful, and finishing strong?

What do you hope our church looks like in 5 or 10 years?

How can I help you with that?

How about you?

What are the dumb/annoying questions you get asked repeatedly?

What are some good questions nobody asks you?

Recently, my wife and I both noticed—and commented—on something…

On this particular day, we kept receiving unexpected hugs.

There are hugs you CAN expect.

They come from the same people and they’re really not much of a surprise.

This day was different. These hugs were a surprise.

We didn’t know most of the people.

We weren’t expecting it to be a huggy kind-of-day.

But it was.

You see, we threw a big party and were giving backpacks with school supplies to kids in our community.

A few thousand people showed up. The music was bumpin’ and the BBQ was fired up.

Popcorn and cotton candy was being handed out.

It was a fun party—all centered around GIVING.

We were GIVING food, a good time, and backpacks with school supplies…

And it caused an unexpected reaction: hugs.

This is why the Bible says, “A gift opens the way,” and “everyone is the friend of one who gives gifts.” (Proverbs 18.16, 19.6 NIV)

One of the quickest ways to redraw the lines and enlarge our circle of love is to GIVE.

Try it—and see what happens.