Brian Dolleman's Blog

He knew Peter had a swearing problem that wouldn’t go away in 3 years—but He added and included him anyway.

He knew Thomas had a doubting problem that wouldn’t go away in 3 years—but He added and included him anyway.

He knew the Thunder Brothers (James and John) had ego problems that wouldn’t go away in 3 years—but He added and included them anyway.

He knew Judas had a greed problem and He knew Judas would betray him in 3 years—but He added and included him anyway.

He didn’t add or include perfect people.

He added and included people…

People, problems and all.

The people in His circle didn’t become perfect in a flash (or in weeks, months, years).

Of course, many of them did change over time.

That’s how God works. His grace changes everything.

His redrawing of the circle—to add and include—isn’t exclusive to those who have already started the process of change.

He is still adding and including sinners, strangers, doubters, and egomaniacs (people like you and me) today.

“He picks up the poor from out of the dirt, rescues those who’ve been thrown out with the trash… seats them among the honored guests, a place of honor among the brightest and best.” (Psalm 113.7, 8 MSG)

When I was young, I went through a pretty bad rebellious streak.

Although I had grown up in church, I started using drugs and walked away from God.

During this time, my youth pastor (Troy Jones) reached out to me.

He offered to pick me up from school once a week.

Not going home sounded good to me—so I agreed to hang out with Troy.

Troy was a college student at the time…

And he loved Big Gulps.

So, Troy picked me up from school each week and we’d head straight for 7-11.

We had Big Gulps together each week for a year.

That time with Troy—and the friendship that developed—made a huge difference in my life.

It wasn’t a program (our church had lots of those).

It was relationship.

Troy took time to be my friend.

He let me into his world, and he got into mine.

He redrew the line of his “circle of friends” to include me…

And I’m a different guy today because of it.

I wonder how many people are simply needing someone to redraw their “circle of friends line” to include them?

I know this: relationship makes all the difference.

Statistically, you can take two people, expose them to the same church, Bible teaching, program…

The one who has Christian friends will make it.

The one who doesn’t, won’t.

We need to enlarge our circle of love to include some sinners and strangers.

This is exactly what God has done for us.

“God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family… This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. You are no longer strangers. You are citizens along with all of God’s holy people. You are members of God’s family.” (Ephesians 1.5, 2.19 NLT)

He redrew the circle to include us.

Let’s do the same.

Let’s enlarge our circle of love.

Redraw the lines today. Include someone, and be the friend they need.

I’m thankful Troy Jones took the time to get Big Gulps with me and become my friend.

Sometimes we act like it’s a contest…

Where we win by being the loudest, biggest, strongest, most obnoxious kid on the block.

When “they” do something we don’t like, “we” do something back.

Kinda like when “they” said mean things about the Christian fried chicken man…

And “we” stage a National Buy Christian Fried Chicken Day.

Neiner neiner neiner.

You stuck your tongue out at me, so I’ll stick my tongue out at you.

You pushed me, so I’ll push you.

Extreme examples of this turn to violence (abortion clinic bombings).

When we act like it’s a contest, we become Christian bullies.

Stinky Christian bullies.

Jesus said, “You’re blessed when you are mocked, misunderstood, and mistreated for choosing what’s right. God’s Kingdom belongs to you.” (Matthew 5.10)

We are blessed when we choose what’s right and get bullied for it.

It doesn’t say, “When others choose what’s wrong, bully them until they get it right.”

The blessing isn’t for bullies.

The blessing is for those who choose what’s right, take shots for doing what’s right, and keep doing what’s right.

Media blitzes and protests aren’t the answer. Just doing what’s right—that’s the answer.

Pushing back isn’t winning….

Because the blessing isn’t for bullies—even Christian ones.

We’ve all encountered THAT person…

The know-it-all. The one who has to be right—whatever the cost.

They should be required to wear a name tag that says: “Hi, I’m Feisty. You’re wrong, I’m right—and it’s my job to let you know.” (at least that way we can see ‘em coming).

Quoting Peter Haas from his book Pharisectomy: How To Joyfully Remove Your Inner Pharisee And Other Religiously Transmitted Diseases…

“Some Christians have acquired the misguided notion that believers are called to confront the entire universe and do so in some freaky-weird ways.”

The thing is, when you’re good at winning arguments, you’re also good at losing people.

We want to win people, not fights.

Proverbs 11.30 says, “A wise person wins friends”.

When your goal is to win friends, you talk less and listen more.

When your goal is to win arguments, you talk more and listen less.

Winning people requires the fine art of bridge-building (bridging the divide between us).

Jesus said, “Blessed are the bridge-builders in a war-torn world, for they are God’s children working in the family business.” (Matthew 5.9)

Letting people know, “You’re wrong and I’m right and I’m gonna win this fight,” is the opposite of bridge-building. It increases the divide between us. It burns down bridges…

And it stinks.

We are bridge-building peacemakers because we want to win people, not fights.

The” what is” can be seen with natural eyes.

It already exists, it’s our current reality.

Somehow, we all know things aren’t quite right.

We believe there must be something better.

Rather than becoming finger-pointing critics or doomsday prophets, we must become bridge-builders between the what is and what can be.

That’s what real leadership is all about: being the bridge between what is and what can be.

One version of the 7th Beatitude goes like this…

“Blessed are the bridge-builders in a war-torn world, for they are God’s children working in the family business.” (Matthew 5.9)

Throwing grenades of blame and accusation isn’t our calling.

Our family business is bridge-building.

If we flip the 7th Beatitude, it might say something like this…

“When we abandon our calling to be bridge-building peacemakers, we stink.”

It’s easy to toss stink bombs of judgement across the rivers that divide us.

It’s easy to be all judgy from a distance.

But that’s not our thing.

We close the gap.

We reach out with love.

We become the bridge between what is and what can be.

We are bridge-builders in a war-torn world—because this is our family business…

And we are blessed.