Brian Dolleman's Blog

Pyramid schemes are designed for the privileged few to make it to the top on the backs of the less fortunate many.

Some view leadership and influence this way—based on what I take from others, I rise.

God’s way is the opposite.

“Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top.

Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage.

Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.” (Philippians 2.3, 4 MSG)

This is the opposite of a pyramid scheme.

Influence is about making a difference in people’s lives.

Leadership is about benefiting others, lifting others, blessing others…

And being a blessing IS A BLESSING.

“Give away your life; you’ll find life given back, but not merely given back—given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting is the way.” (Luke 6.38 MSG)

A turtle will hide in his shell when he’s afraid…

And when he’s hiding—he’s going nowhere, he’s accomplishing nothing.

There’s a famous quote about this:

“Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.”

I think this is true about people too.

We only make progress when we stick out necks out—but when we hide in our shells, we go nowhere and we accomplish nothing.

Looking back on significant things I’ve either participated in or accomplished, I notice…

Nobody told me I was perfect for the job. Nobody begged me to do it.

It didn’t come knocking on my door.

I stuck my neck out.

I chose the opportunity to make a difference over hiding in my shell.

I wasn’t perfect for the job and the conditions weren’t perfect.

I went for it anyway.

And I’m glad I did.

When I think about the people who have made a significant difference in my life, I notice…

Not one of them was (or is) perfect.

They stuck their necks out—they chose the opportunity to make a difference over hiding in their shells.

Here’s what I’m saying:

Hey Turtle!

Stick your neck out.

Choose the opportunity to make a difference over hiding in your shell.

If you stay in your shell, not only will you go nowhere and accomplish nothing, but you will rob others of the blessing you could have been in their lives.

“Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.”

Jesus selected 12 perfect disciples.

He spent about 3 years with them—teaching and training them.

He sent them out, commissioned to heal, restore and announce the Good News of God’s Kingdom.

Question: Which part of this story isn’t true?

Answer: The “perfect” part.

Jesus chose imperfect people to make a difference.

News flash: God STILL CHOOSES IMPERFECT PEOPLE to make a difference.

Have you ever felt like you were unqualified, disqualified, ill-equipped, not ready, or not good enough?

Yeah, me too. I don’t think I’ve ever felt ready for what God gave me to do…

And I know I’ve never felt “perfect.”

All too often, we tell ourselves a story that isn’t true. We say, “I’m not ready.”

We hesitate and we wait.

We wait for a perfect scenario. We wait for a perfect me…

But while we’re waiting, we miss opportunities—opportunities to bless, serve, help, influence, and lead.

While we’re waiting for the perfect _______, we miss opportunities to make a difference.

The truth is, we’re not perfect.

We’re not ready.

We’re not equipped.

We’re not qualified.

We’re not good enough.

But WE ARE THE KIND OF PEOPLE GOD CHOOSES.

God chooses imperfect people to make a difference.

Don’t let fear stop you.

Don’t hesitate.

Participate.

Initiate.

Influence and lead.

Don’t hide—let your light shine.

God wants YOU to make a difference.

I think we need lowered expectations.

No, I’m not talking about MADtv’s parody of eHarmony commercials…

I’m talking about being OK with failure, rejection, and disappointment.

I’m talking about being willing to risk messing up AND being able to dust ourselves off for another go at it.

I’m talking about NOT expecting success all the time.

When my wife was in high school, her youth pastor would preach, “You can win your school for Jesus.”

She took it literally. She believed her entire school would be saved while she was there (because of her efforts).

She gave it her all. Then she experienced failure, rejection, and disappointment.

She felt like a loser because she didn’t win her school for Jesus.

We laugh about it now.

She was a bright light at Kentridge High School.

She was A.S.B President. She was a leader and a positive influence.

She personally led people to Jesus and brought them to church with her.

She made friends with the “stoners.”

She loved her school.

It’s interesting to me that when Jesus sent his disciples out to preach the Good News, he didn’t promise them 100% success. Actually, he prepared them for failure, rejection, and disappointment. Here’s what he told them: “If you’re not welcomed… don’t make a scene. Shrug your shoulders and move on.” (Luke 9.5 MSG)

Maybe Andrew expected to win the town of Korazin for Jesus.

Perhaps Peter expected to win the entire region of Tyre for Jesus.

But Jesus basically said, “Not everyone is going to receive you or like you or listen to you. You will be rejected. Not all your efforts will be successful. That’s OK. Dust yourself off and keep going. Shrug your shoulders and move on.”

Another time, Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16.33 NIV)

I know the concept of “lowered expectations” isn’t exactly inspirational…

But I think sometimes we need to be reminded:

We all fall down.

We’re not perfect.

We will experience trouble—but we don’t have to be afraid; Jesus overcame it all for us.

We will have failures, rejection, and disappointments along the way.

And that’s OK.

We dust ourselves off and try again.

I don’t have a 100% success rate… with anything.

Even my best efforts fall flat at times. I trip up. I do it wrong.

And even when I have done well, it’s not always received well.

My best is often not good enough for someone else.

I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in this; I’m guessing you have your share of failures, rejection, and disappointments.

Yes?

We be trippin.

That’s part of life.

We’re not perfect and the world isn’t perfect…

But as God’s people, we have hope. We get up and we try again.

We refuse to let the fear of failure keep us from doing significant things.

Even though we be trippin, we’re good at standing back up, dusting ourselves off, and moving on.

“The godly may trip seven times, but they WILL get up again.” (Proverbs 26.16 NLT)

I want to share something I did recently that was, well… just plain stupid.

Most weeks, at the end of our church services, I stand near the exit and greet people as they leave.

That’s when it happened: I smiled and said “Hi” to someone…

But she didn’t acknowledge me.

In fact, I’m pretty sure she looked away and tried to walk faster.

That’s when I got stupid. My ego was bruised and I felt annoyed.

So, I chased after her. I tapped her on the shoulder and said, “Eh-hem. HELLO.”

The tone of my HELLO was that of a parent correcting a child—you know, like when a parent says YOU’RE WELCOME as a way of demanding the proper THANK YOU that their child failed to produce.

When “Eh-hem. HELLO” came out of my mouth, I realized how stupid I was being.

It was obvious that this was for me and not for her.

And then I realized something else…

In that moment, as I chased her down—attempting to squeeze the proper greeting out of her, OTHERS poured out the exit with no greeting from me at all.

I missed many OTHERS because I was stewing over one who rejected my greeting.

There it is—my stupid mistake.

Jesus sent his disciples out to minister to people and he gave them the following instructions: “If you’re not welcomed… don’t make a scene. Shrug your shoulders and move on.” (Luke 9.5 MSG)

I didn’t shrug my shoulders. I stewed. I made a scene…

And I missed the OTHERS.

That’s what Jesus was speaking to his disciples about: there are OTHERS.

If you are rejected, shrug your shoulders and keep going because there are OTHERS.

If your best attempts fall flat, shrug your shoulders and keep going because there are OTHERS.

If you are disappointed with your results, shrug your shoulders and keep going because there are OTHERS.

Hopefully, I have learned from my stupid mistake. Maybe you will too.

Along with leadership comes failed attempts, rejection, and disappointment…

I screw up. I drop the ball. Sometimes my best efforts fall flat.

I will never be liked or appreciated by everyone. I get rejected, criticized, and laughed at.

I deal with disappointment. Things don’t always end up as wonderfully as I hoped they would.

So, what am I going to do when I fail, or am rejected, or feel disappointed with the results?

I can SHRUG my shoulders and move on or I can STEW about it.

The thing about stewing is—my thoughts, attitudes, words, and behavior will become flavored with negativity.

That’s what I don’t like about stew—everything tastes the same. The carrots lose their flavor. The potatoes taste all beefy. It’s similar to fruit cocktail in a can… there’s different shapes and colors in there, but everything tastes the same.

If I stew over failed attempts, rejection, and disappointment, my leadership will be flavored with hurt and bitterness.

I’ll become a gun-shy, poor-me, Eeyore (from Winnie-the-Pooh) kind-of-leader…

And the longer I stew, the more flavored with negativity I will become.

The other option is to shrug my shoulders, say “Oh well,” and move on.

That’s what Jesus told his disciples to do.

As he commissioned them to go out and share the Good News, he said: “If you’re not welcomed… don’t make a scene—shrug your shoulders and move on.” (Luke 9.5 MSG)

I’ve been around leaders who were flavored with negativity because of painful things that happened to them…

And whenever I notice this, it reminds me:

Be quick to shrug your shoulders and move on.

If I stew, I might miss my next great opportunity.

There’s more work to be done.

I can still make a difference.

We all face those “under pressure” moments.

Although much is beyond our reach of control in these moments, we are presented with a choice…

Will we travel down the road of fear or will we choose faith?

Difficult circumstances bring us to the intersection of fear and faith.

The road of fear is dark.

Its travelers have lost hope.

Attractions along the way of fear include: anxiety, panic, worry, paranoia, depression, and despair.

In the other direction…

The way of faith is brightly lit.

No one on this path is perfect, but their hope is in a perfectly good and present God.

Attractions on the pathway of faith include: peace, confidence, renewed strength, and unshakable joy.

The choice is ours—which direction will we choose in our “under pressure” moments, at the intersection of fear and faith?

“You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it.” (James 1.3, 5 MSG)