Brian Dolleman's Blog

OK, I know it’s a little early for Christmas stuff—but just go with me for a minute.

Do you remember King Moonracer from the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Christmas special?

He is the flying lion who lives in a castle… the king of the Island of Misfit Toys.

King Moonracer flies around the world each night to gather up unwanted toys and gives them a home on his island. He loves the toys that others have cast aside.

He is himself the ultimate misfit. He isn’t a toy. He’s a flying lion who wears a tiny crown.

Unlike all the other misfits on the island, no one laughs at King Moonracer. No one calls him ridiculous.

They are awed by the majesty of his presence. He is alone in the world—yet he seems so content and focused.

He is driven by a sense of responsibility to his mission.

He reminds me of Someone I know…

Have you ever felt like you just didn’t fit?

For various reasons, we’ve all experienced that misfit moment.

I feel like I’ve spent most of my life accumulating misfit moments.

If I wrote out lists: REASONS WHY I FIT and REASONS WHY I DON’T FIT, the second list wins a decisive victory.

Some choose to live as chameleons—morphing to “fit” each setting or scenario—ultimately creating a masquerade existence where it is no longer safe to be themselves.

This issue touches all of us. We’ve all felt it and we all have to deal with it.

We’re not the only misfits…

Jesus was a misfit. Think about it.

His mom was a virgin. He stands all alone in that regard.

He was both fully-God and fully-man. Again, he stands alone with that one.

He lived a pure life and was without sin. Hello! He’s the only one to have ever lived that way.

He took on our sin at the cross—he became the once-and-for-all sacrifice for us. Only He could do this.

He died, but death had no power over him. He conquered death, rose again, and He lives.

Not only was Jesus the king of the misfits, but he was a misfit magnet.

He attracted misfits everywhere.

Think about the individuals Jesus spent time with, ministered to, healed, taught, encouraged, and blessed…

They’re misfits—just like me and you. Jesus loves misfits! We belong with Him.

With Him, we’re home and there’s no longer a need to masquerade.

“We’re the Messiah’s misfits.” (1 Corinthians 4.9 MSG)

How do you pick a seat when you go to the movies?

The best viewing angle? The middle? The back row so nobody can kick your chair? The one without stains?

If you’re the first person to arrive, you will undoubtedly pick the one you believe to be the best seat in the house.

One more question…

What’s the best seat in the church?

I frequently observe people selecting their seats at church. They pick their seats for various reasons…

Closest to the front, furthest from the front. Closest to the exit, next to friends. Quiet zone, loud zone.

You do it too. Think about it—there’s a reason you selected that seat.

One day, Jesus heard his disciples arguing about who among them deserved the best seat.

Here’s how He responded to them:

“Who is more important—the one who sits at the table or the one who serves? The one who sits at the table, of course. But not here! For I am among you as one who serves.” (Luke 22.27 NLT)

I love those three paradigm-shifting words from Jesus—BUT NOT HERE.

The perspective of what we try to position ourselves for (what’s best) is DIFFERENT HERE.

People are not revered for what they took, but for what they gave and how they served.

Here, the best seat in the house isn’t a seat—it’s the place of service.

Ruts keep you stuck.

They limit, confine, and restrict you.

Sometimes, ya just gotta bust a rut and do something new.

Here’s one of the biggest ruts we get trapped in: living for self—being “me” centered.

We are talented consumers. Our tastes have become highly refined.

We know what we like, what we want—and we want more of it.

This consumer mentality is how many Christians approach their faith…

Their tastes are highly refined. They know what they like, what they want—and they want more of it.

It’s a rut that keeps ‘em stuck. Their wheels are spinning but they’re not going anywhere.

Jesus modeled a different way—something contrary to the “me” centered consumer life.

He lived to give and his agenda was to serve, not be served.

He said, “I came not to be served but to serve others and give my life…” (Matthew 20.28)

Followers of Jesus aren’t talented consumers, they’re willing servants.

Are you a Jesus follower?

Has your approach to the Christian life been mostly “me” centered?

Have you become a talented consumer? You might be in a rut…

And sometimes, ya just gotta bust a rut and do something new.

Try a different way—the way that says, “It’s not about me. My agenda is to serve. I live to give.”

Ever wished you were someone or something else?

Ever been jealous of someone else’s talent, ability or strength?

I have… and I’ve come to realize it was a waste of emotional energy.

I used to have thick, wavy hair—but I wanted straight hair. I tried everything (products, hair straightening, etc) but a few drops of rain later, my hair went right back to it’s default fluff.

I’ve always been artistic and creative—but I was jealous of the natural athlete. I wanted to be a “jock” but my efforts proved futile. I just had more success with a paint brush than a golf club or baseball bat.

I have often admired leaders who seem to be able to whip a crowd into an emotional frenzy, yet I am incredibly rational and mellow. I tend to operate in the gift of wisdom more than the gift of explosion.

Maybe God knew what He was doing when He formed me in my mother’s womb…

“In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well…” (Romans 12:6 NLT)

That’s pretty encouraging: “in his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well.”

“There are different kinds of service, but we serve the same Lord. God works in different ways, but it is the same God who does the work in all of us.” (1 Corinthians 12:5-6 NLT)

What a relief! God is working through us, in different and unique ways.

The Bible warns us that comparing (ourselves with others) is not wise (2 Corinthians 10:12). My guess is, most people waste emotional energy on comparisons, envy and jealousy. I’m doing my best to be different (and be me). I’m saying no to comparisons, no to jealousy, and no to envy.

Envy, jealousy and comparing are self-centered activities.

So, what’s the antidote or cure for that natural, human tendency to slip into self-centeredness?

Serve. Put others first.

After all, that’s what God gave you those gifts, strengths and abilities for… to serve others, to be a blessing and to make a difference.

It’s time for us to get over ourselves and really dig in to serving!

We were given some beautiful serving dishes that are, well… unusable.

They were unique, special, eye-catching, and we really liked them.

Unfortunately, when you flipped ‘em over, they had this little warning label on the base…

DO NOT USE FOR FOOD
CONTAINS LEAD
FOR DISPLAY ONLY
YOU WILL DIE A SLOW, PAINFUL DEATH JUST FROM TOUCHING THIS DISH—QUICKLY GO CHECK IN THE MIRROR TO SEE IF YOUR EYES ARE BLEEDING

OK, I added that last part. But that’s what I was thinking when I read the warning label.

These serving dishes were beautiful to look at, but…

They were unusable.

Basically, they were laced with poison.

I think there’s a leadership principle here.

It’s possible to be full of talent, skill, ability, anointing…

But still be unusable.

Some incredibly talented people need warning labels on ‘em:

DISORGANIZED
DRAMA QUEEN
TOTALLY INSECURE
COMPLETELY UNRELIABLE
HARSH WITH PEOPLE—I WILL CAUSE DAMAGE
COMPETITIVE—EVERYTHING’S A CONTEST—I MUST WIN—YOU MUST LOSE
GIFTED IN COMPLICATING SIMPLE THINGS
AWKWARD PEOPLE SKILLS
EASILY SIDETRACKED
GOSSIP GUARANTEE
WISHY-WASHY
DISHONEST

In my opinion, less talent and more integrity is a better choice in terms of usability.

It’s not that I don’t like talent. I value talent, skill, ability, and anointing…

But I don’t want it when it’s laced with poison.

There’s a great verse in the Bible that describes King David’s leadership:

“David shepherded them with integrity of heart; with skillful hands he led them.” (Psalm 78.72 NIV)

He was both skilled AND full of integrity—talented AND trustworthy—anointed AND reliable. He was usable.

I love that, and I want it to be true about my leadership too.

I don’t want to be skilled, BUT…

I don’t want to be talented, BUT…

I don’t want to be anointed, BUT…

I don’t want to be unusable.

I want to be usable.

How about you?

I still don’t really understand what my gall bladder and tonsils are for… it seems like they just don’t contribute. Apparently some tonsils and gall bladders end up causing problems—and have to be removed so there can be peace in the body.

In 1 Corinthians 12, Paul compares the church to a human body. He reminds us that our bodies have many different parts—with each part having it’s own unique and necessary function.

In our culture, we are “good” at being spectators and critics.

Few actually get in the game.

We live vicariously through the exciting lives of people we watch on reality TV—as we sit comfortably on our couches night after night.

This tendency is widespread in the church as well. It’s been said that 20% of the people do 80% of the work.

This is not good; the body has some dysfunction.

We must fight this. We need to fight against our own apathy, laziness and excuses.

We need to buck the trend.

Our goal is 100% participation—everyone doing something in the church.

“In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well…” (Romans 12.6 NLT)

For sure, we are NOT all the same—and we are not called to be robots.

We ALL have unique, God-given talents, gifts, abilities and interests.

“There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit is the source of them all. There are different kinds of service, but we serve the same Lord. God works in different ways, but it is the same God who does the work in all of us.” (1 Corinthians 12.4-6 NLT)

Remember that old Schoolhouse Rock song “Conjunction Junction?” The song asks the question, “What’s your function?”

What a great question. How about you—what’s your function?

We are the body…

And we all have a place in the body.

We each have a function that contributes to the overall well-being, growth and health of the body.

Let’s not be satisfied with couch-potato Christianity!

God’s plan is for 100% participation—everyone doing something.

You possess strengths and gifts that God gave you… not just so you can have them, but so you can use them to contribute to the life, strength, and health of the body.

Some have an eye for design. Others have an eye for color.

Some have an eye for the big picture. Others have an eye for detail.

Some have an eye for bargains and deals. Others have an eye for luxury.

These traits can be tied to personality and are often detectable at a young age.

With some, it would be easy to assume they were born that way.

There is at least one trait, however, that no one is born with…

I’m talking about generosity.

It’s not a reflex. It’s counterintiutive.

Generosity is developed and nurtured—it starts small, and it grows.

The Bible talks about having a generous eye: “He who has a generous eye will be blessed.” (Proverbs 22.9 NKJV)

We’re not born looking for opportunities to share, give and be generous.

Just think about one of the first lessons we are taught as young children… sharing.

The generous eye isn’t a talent some have and others don’t because of their personality.

You develop your eye for it.

You start where you’re at—with the resources you have right now…

And you increase that generous quality in you.

I meet with a group of guys each week.

We’re reading John Maxwell’s book—The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader.

One of the chapters we discussed yesterday was about how leaders are able to draw people to them.

Here are a few of the points…

1. Love Life.
People enjoy leaders who enjoy life. Think of the people you want to spend time with. How would you describe them? Grumpy? Bitter? Depressed? Of course not. They’re celebrators, not complainers. They’re passionate about life. If you want to attract people, you need to be like the people you enjoy being with.

2. Put a “10” on Every Person’s Head.
One of the best things you can do for people—which also attracts them to you—is to expect the best of them. I call it putting a “10” on everyone’s head. It helps others think more highly of themselves, at the same time, it also helps you. Benjamin Disraeli once said, “The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches but to reveal to him his own.” If you appreciate others, encourage them and help them reach their potential, they will love you for it.

3. Give People Hope.
If you can be the person who bestows the gift of hope on others, they will be attracted to you, and will be forever grateful.

4. Share Yourself.
People love leaders who share themselves and their life journeys. As you lead people, give of yourself. Share wisdom, resources, and even special occasions.

The bottom line is being others-minded.

As you talk to others, determine how much of the conversation is concentrated on yourself. Determine to tip the balance in favor of focusing on others.

The next time you meet someone for the first time, try your best to make a good impression. Learn the person’s name. Focus on his interests. Be positive. And most important, treat him as a “10.” If you can do this for a day, you can do it every day.

Make it your long-term goal to share your resources with others. Think about how you can add value to five people this year.

Some things in life are counterintuitive.

In an early Bill Cosby comedy routine, he spoke about driving home at night in terrible winter weather—and feeling his car begin to skid.

Flashing through his brain was a lesson from Driver’s Education: “If the car begins to skid, turn in the direction of the skid.”

Cosby described how, at that moment, this Driver’s Ed advice seemed like complete nonsense…

Like if you’re about to get punched in the face, someone suggesting you should lean your face into the punch to minimize the pain.

So what did Cosby do? He turned the wheel the other way and ended up going 90 miles an hour sideways.

He should have turned in the direction of the skid.

Yes, some things in life are counterintuitive…

Like generosity.

Logic would say, if you give—you will have less and your world will be smaller.

But generosity has the opposite effect.

“The world of the generous gets larger and larger; the world of the stingy gets smaller and smaller. The one who blesses others is abundantly blessed; those who help others are helped.” (Proverbs 11.24, 25 MSG)

Amazing, isn’t it? The world of the generous gets larger and larger while the world of the stingy just gets smaller.

“Be wary of the shrewd advice that tells you how to get ahead on your own. Giving, not getting is the way… Stinginess impoverishes.” (Mark 4.24 MSG)

In our culture, the intuition of most people leans towards GIMME, GETTIN’ and personal GAIN, while the counterintuitive way is one of GENEROSITY, GRATEFULNESS, and GIVING.