Posts Tagged: "Thankful"

I sometimes return to the aggressive rush and run others off the road

Brian Dolleman - May 19, 2020 - Life With God, Uncategorized

Thankful Notes (#274)

I appreciated our church’s weekly conversation video that was released yesterday—it featured three individuals who have an immediate family member living in their homes who is particularly vulnerable to COVID-19. Their sharing was honest and gracious and shed light on why we are being so careful.

I read this poem called The Visit by Patricia Lunetta Gould yesterday. There is no set-up, no explanation of who Margaret is or what her relationship is to the author. It just begins…

The last time I saw Margaret, she had reached the skeletal stage.

I rubbed her feet that day, touching death. Feet bumped out with bunions, tipped with twisted toes and curling yellowed nails.

On her bedside stand, a scrap of paper—the name of one of those TV evangelists who beseech you to feel the healing power of Jesus through the screen—and don’t forget to send your generous love gifts.

As I drive home on a narrow curving road, someone tailgates, itching to go faster, not knowing he’s flesh and fragile.

Slowed by sadness and sick of pressure, I pull onto the gravel shoulder, let him shoot by… and on my right catch sight of a great blue heron standing tall and still in the aisle made by two rows of towering trees.

Like a priest in feathered robes, he bows his head three times before an altar of mountain bluffs. It’s dusk, and the moon, just rising, illuminates his wings as they open in benediction for evening flight. His parting call:

Stay awake. Holiness
may spread its wings for you
at any moment.

* * *

Her description of driving home on a narrow curving road—and someone tailgates, itching to go faster, not knowing he’s flesh and fragile… um, I mean, I just want to sit with that for a while.

I’ve been the tailgater in a hurry.

And I’ve been the one slowed by… Read More

By this time, my dad was hearing the ghost sound too. We looked at each other with stunned faces, in complete bewilderment.

Brian Dolleman - May 14, 2020 - Life With God, Uncategorized

Thankful Notes (#270)

When sleeping outside on the deck furniture for the night, I do occasionally hear some strange sounds. Sometimes the gray heron pierces the silence with his prehistoric-guttural squawks. Other times, a flock of Canadian geese fly directly overhead, honking with every flap of their wings. And there is this bizarre sound a crow makes, almost like a cat, “baahw? baahw?”

This time of year, the cormorants have left for some other climate or location… so I don’t hear their weird growling monster sound. But there is definitely the sound of frogs and the occasional splosh of fish jumping and landing back into the lake.

One of my favorite nighttime sounds is the gentle hoot of owls in trees nearby.

Even when I’m not sleeping outside, I hear most of these sounds (except the fish sploshing back into the water) because we always have our bedroom windows open at night. Gotta have that fresh air, even when it’s cold at night.

As I think about strange middle-of-the-night sounds, I’m taken back to a memory I share with my dad… I was around 15 years old at the time, and had just started working at the veterinary hospital in Rainier Beach.

My bedroom was on the ground floor of the house, right next door to my parent’s bedroom. The night was stormy—wind and heavy, relentless rain. Everything was soaked and the ground couldn’t absorb all the water.

I had been working on a side-hustle for my dad in addition to working at the veterinary hospital – he offered to pay me $1,000 to dig out the ground around the north side of the basement (it needed a drain field and the concrete exterior wall of the basement needed to be sealed). A good sized trench had been started – it was maybe 3’ wide by 6-7’ deep.

In the middle of the night, I was awakened to the strange and eerie sound of moaning or wailing or groaning… and the hair on the back of my neck stood up. I laid in bed listening, wondering if I’d just had a bad dream, but the ghost sound continued.

I couldn’t get back to sleep, and I was starting to wonder if someone was pulling a prank on me, “punking” me, so I walked over to my parent’s bedroom and shook my dad awake. I whispered, “Do you hear that sound?”… Read More

Then I heard one of her co-workers say, “Oh wow! This makes my boobs look huge!” and with that, I was out the door

Brian Dolleman - April 29, 2020 - Life With God, Uncategorized

Thankful Notes (#255)

It’s hard to believe we have been in this little fixer-upper barn-shaped house on the lake for two years now (in May). When we first walked through the house, I fell in love with the view and the potential I could see in the basic structure of the house. I was sold the minute I looked out the windows to Lake Wilderness.

It’s been two years of struggle and joy, enduring and enjoying, stripping away and building. The projects aren’t all complete.

The rotting dock still needs to be replaced. Our HVAC mini-split system still needs to be installed. And there’s the tricky issue of a major structural retaining wall still waiting to be addressed. But it’s become home—truly OUR home, and for that I am so very thankful.

We lived in it while it still had cracked linoleum and dark ceilings and blue duck wallpaper and a pretty cool JennAir downdraft cooktop with a flip-clock straight out of the early 1980’s. Before the remodel began, we moved into the fixer-upper with our brand new 8-week old English Golden Retriever named Camper. We scraped off popcorn ceilings and tore off the wallpaper and ripped up the carpets. Camper chewed big patches of the cracked linoleum and destroyed a section of drywall where we’d torn off the wallpaper. Heck, it was a family effort.

Somehow, we survived. And we are still here, still surviving and dreaming of what can be.

Shari and I drove to the church office together today and Camper stayed at home with Ashah. While I was in a meeting with staff, I receive a text message from Ashah – it’s two pictures of Camper thoroughly enjoying a “Puppuccino” – something I’ve never allowed Camper to have (basically a Starbucks cup filled with whipped cream). But it’s Camper’s birthday week, so what can I say?

I left for my meeting with staff out to the wide-open and spacious lobby, while Shari stayed in my office for her video conference calls. When I returned, she was still on a call (a very loud and chaotic call with her colleagues). I wasn’t sure how long it would last, so I tried to sit down and concentrate on my own work… but the sound of voices talking over one another had me completely shut down and unproductive. Then I heard one of her co-workers say… Read More

I believe in the goodness and grace of ordinary moments

Brian Dolleman - February 5, 2020 - Life With God, Uncategorized

Thankful Notes (#171)

Sunday was, of course, Super Bowl Sunday… which meant we weren’t having our usual 5pm church service with a meal served after. It was also the week after Vision Day—our annual celebration of the good things from the previous year and a faith-filled look forward to what we will be doing together this year.

The opening lines of my sermon on Sunday were these:

“Last week was Vision Day—and it was all fresh-baked cinnamon rolls for everyone and confetti falling from the sky and little surprise gifts for the kids.

And so, today is the let down.

No free food. No confetti. No gifts for kids. It’s just me standing up here; that’s all you get.”

I like acknowledging this reality: nobody can sustain “bigger, better, all-new and improved, this is gonna blow your mind” in life. Nobody.

Life has its big moments and it has an enormous (and absolutely necessary) amount of normal, routine, usual ones.

A wedding is one of those big moments—and yet, it’s not the wedding that makes a marriage… it’s the… Read More

Please, please, please God, let it be. I mean, I’ve been through enough already this past year.

Brian Dolleman - November 6, 2019 - Life With God, Uncategorized

Thankful Notes (#79)

(note: I’m writing a thankful note each day and posting on Facebook, but have not continued posting to the blog daily – occasionally I will add one here that I especially like)

As I walked downstairs this morning and looked out the windows, I could see that much of the lake was shrouded in fog. I like it when the view is altered in some way and I love seeing Lake Wilderness in all of the seasons.

For some reason, I changed up my drink this morning and had a Starbucks doubleshot instead of the quad tall Americano that I’ve been having. I was pleased with my choice. This made me reflect back on some of the different drinks I’ve had as “my drink” over the years, including a double tall upside down con pana (basically a mini dessert in a cup), a tall sugar free vanilla flat white, and a triple tall cappuccino. There was also that season, after coming home from a trip to Italy, that I would order a quad espresso. Wowza! I don’t think I could do that now… I need a little fluff.

I had a productive day at work, preparing for this coming weekend. It feels good to have everything figured out, settled, printed, and ready to go so early in the week. I’ve never been a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kinda guy (stress!) and I like to be well-planned, so this has become my routine – first day of the week in the office: get ready for Sunday.

Later in the afternoon when Camper and I got home and Shari came home from her job, we all went for a walk together around the lake as the sun was setting.

The air was brisk and smelled sweet, like pine needles and cedar branches and browning maple leaves.

Camper was especially rambunctious on the walk, lunging after every stick or branch on the ground. She has a thing for large branches—ones that are a good 5-6’ long that she can drag and flip around as we walk (inevitably hitting me in the legs repeatedly).

This had me a bit worried because tonight is her dog obedience class graduation. I’m crossing my fingers hoping that she gets all the wiggles and antics out before we go to the… Read More

Thankful Notes: Just Another Boring Monday

Brian Dolleman - September 4, 2019 - Life With God, Uncategorized

Monday, August 26, 2019

Thankful Notes

After a big and busy weekend, my day off. Nothing to Instagram. Just the same old (cherished) routines…

Making breakfast. Added avocado to the grilled bread, egg, bacon today. That was good.

Walked Camper and myself around the lake. Had a surprise visit from my dad (why this surprises me, I do not know—he’s always showing up to say hi). Mowed the lawn, the old fashioned way, again.

The furniture order arrived (as was expected). I thought I would have some assembly to do (not to the extent of Ikea, but maybe using a hex key to attach legs to things or something like that), and to my delight, I discovered that every chair and stool and ottoman came fully assembled. A day off miracle. Thankful.

The biggest job was breaking… Read More

Thankful Notes: Sunday Defication

Brian Dolleman - September 3, 2019 - Life With God, Uncategorized

Sunday, August 25, 2019

Thankful Notes

Today is my big work day. It started early, just me and Camper heading out for the store and Starbucks and then the church. We would be staying through the end of the evening, so I was hauling clothing and dog supplies for our 13 hour non-stop day.

Because my day was long and I am only now just sitting down, I won’t write much at all—but I will share this one story…

On Friday, our friend Julie took her nephew Jayden, whom she has raised since he was born, to the courthouse. It was adoption day. After so much time and a roller coaster of challenges, it was finally legal.

Yesterday, we went to a party celebrating Jayden’s adoption. And today at church it was Jayden’s dedication.

At our church, we will never do mass assembly-line dedications or baptisms because we want to take time to pause and celebrate individuals, share their stories, and let that moment be about them.

So today we took time with Julie and her family and little Jayden. It was tender and sweet and holy and good.

We had a little something extra planned for them—because of the special weekend with his legal adoption… there would be flowers for Julie and a big teddy bear for Jayden, to be brought up by her friend Leslie.

After the words shared and the prayer given over Jayden and Julie, we stood there on stage and smiled as Jayden pointed to his pictures on the big screens and said, “Look Mommy, Jayden!”

And then Leslie came up with the flowers and the teddy bear and she gave Julie a big hug. Before she left the stage, I asked her to take the microphone and explain why she was up there. Through tears, Leslie… Read More

Thankful Notes: The Journey Cover Band

Brian Dolleman - August 24, 2019 - Life With God, Uncategorized

Thursday, August 22, 2019

Thankful Notes

Last night I received a text from my mother-in-law, “Have you quoted Jacques Philippe before? Seems to me you have. I’m reading his book Interior Freedom. It’s what you preach, and extremely good.”

I reply, “I don’t think I have, but I’d be happy to borrow this book from you when you’re done with it ”

She says, “Sure. A Catholic lady I sometimes walk with loaned it to me. She’s in no rush to get it back.”

Me, “Oh, I thought it was yours. That’s OK. I’ll look for Philippe books from second-hand places.”

She says, “Oh please take it. If you drive up, I’ll run out and give it to you. I’ve got a whole bag from her. She’s old like me, very relaxed.”

Me, “I’m at home tonight.”

She says, “Oh, OK. I’ll drop it off at church tomorrow. I could hardly put the book down.”

Not long after I arrived at the office in the morning, I heard a car pull in. Looking out the window, I recognized my mother-in-law’s car. I run out to keep Camper from jumping on her (Camper is on a long leash between the buildings and is on the prowl for any living being to jump on and slobber all over).

My mother-in-law hands me the book and I say “thanks” and she’s off.

It feels nice to be known.

That someone read something and think, “This is what Brian is all about” is, I don’t know, affirming of my existence. Is it weird to be thankful for… Read More

Thankful Notes: Strawberry & Blueberry Dessert

Brian Dolleman - August 22, 2019 - Life With God, Uncategorized

Tuesday, August 20, 2019

I woke up with gooey eyes and the need to cough every 30 seconds. I’d planned on riding with a friend down to our youth camp but started to reconsider. Ultimately I decided it would be unkind to sit in a car with a friend—or anyone for 90 minutes while I cough my germs all over the place. And because I was not going do what I had planned on doing, I also decided to just take a sick day and stay home.

Is it weird to be thankful for sick days?

Maybe I do feel a tinge of guilt, like I should be truly miserable for the entire day if I’m going to stay home… but I knew I wouldn’t be miserable. I’m just sick.

I also thought about a couple of ladies I know at church who are battling cancer and multiple serious health issues, but have to work because they are hourly employees and they depend on the income. I had asked one if she could just go on public assistance or disability or something during her treatments, and through tears she said it wasn’t possible. She just has to work.

Because I felt a little more pathetic today, I wasn’t as motivated to… Read More

Thankful Notes: Something Probably Just of Interest to my Wife

Brian Dolleman - August 21, 2019 - Life With God, Uncategorized

Monday, August 19, 2019

I’m tired and have a nasty cold (after a busy week with Backpack Give and Sunday services), but still, I got up early and took Camper out. It’s a nice routine and I actually enjoy that she needs to go… because I get an early morning walk up the hill to the highest viewpoint on the lake.

And Camper is especially sweet in the morning when she first gets up.

Made coffee and sat outside reading for a bit. No hurry. My favorite.

I told Shari, “I think that’s my favorite outfit you’re wearing.” It’s a loose casual black T and some cropped jeans with a few little tears – nothing too dramatic, and her black Birkenstocks. She got all blushy and smiley and said,… Read More