5 Socially Awkward Things Even I Know Not To Do
In today’s Leadership Bites (6 minute leadership podcast), Andy and I talk about how I’m pretty awkward… but even I know not to do these 5 things. Listen and enjoy!
WHAT ABOUT YOU? Do you have any socially awkward things you’d like to add to the “don’t do” list?
I am a husband, father, pastor, leader & reader. I love God, love people & love life.
I’m definitely the hovering type… But it’s mostly because someone is usually talking to me that gets totally side tracked in an instant and then I’m stuck having to tune out their conversation with someone else… So to make it clear that I need to talk to the person still, I walk off, come back and if they are still at it for 2 more minutes I put on the shame face and put my head down and walk off again then come back later. It would be funny if anyone actually noticed it but that really doesn’t happen. As for unwanted touching, I literally only touch people in any way if I know them very well. (Don’t know how to word that any better) If I have strong feelings toward someone, they have to make eye contact and motion to see if I’ll let them get closer! Kinda terrible but it comes with having BPD! I end up staring at them for at least a minute, bow, and then nod so they know. Be thankful you’re not me hehe
Wow guys, I hadn’t thought of it before now, but I’d imagine that working in the public like you do that you would see a seriously huge variety of people and personality types. I would love to be a ‘fly on the wall’ and have observed all of the strange behavior you must’ve seen over time… hmm… …. lol. It would certainly be different dynamics than I’m used to. For example, people coming up to you wanting advice on really serious matters when you don’t know them personally, people trying to impress you, or being intimidated by you, or star struck. Geez,I can’t imagine. Plus anyone you meet will have a stereotype in their mind of what a pastor is, and you can never be sure how strongly they hold their opinions of religion, either in favor or opposition.
Personally I try not to be awkward. But in trying to be normal, or a certain type of funny, I often take it too far. It’s awkward & not funny. Lol. When it comes to inappropriate jokes or inappropriate touch, my work has taught me a few things about how to respond. First, it is Always ok to let someone know when you feel uncomfortable. We are each allowed to have our own boundaries, and we have to say them if we want people to know how we want to be treated. So, say I’m working in someone’s home and my client has a cognitive disability. They might be known for making ‘socially inappropriate’ comments like, “You smell really bad. It’s disgusting and youre making me sick, so you need to leave the room. Or just stay here, but get some of that spray and spray it everywhere in the room so I don’t have to smell your disgusting stink. God, why do you smell SO bad?!” Well.. Ordinarily that would violate my boundary for being spoken to respectfully, in which case I would have told them so & walked away. But since I’m there in a teaching capacity, I need to show them respect since it’s their right to have preferences about their own home, but I also still need to explain how their expression of it in that manner can be hurtful. I’d do the same thing for a racist or bigoted joke, regardless of the person’s age. To my grandma, “heh heh..Well, Grandma… I love you, but we just don’t say those kinds of things anymore. It’s just not funny because we’ve realized how hateful it is. And I can’t laugh at it, plus other people are gonna look at you like you’re a asshole racist.. and yeah, you just shouldn’t say that kind of stuff anymore.” Really though. Actually, theres a ton of preachers who I want to say that to, just not about racist comments, about God-backwards comments.. haha. Not you 2 though, I don’t feel that way about things you say lol.
Haha! I love some of the stuff that comes up on my blog… “people are gonna look at you like you’re an asshole racist.” Seriously, thanks for writing Danielle – it’s interesting to look at this from another angle, another profession. Appreciate your insights.
Don’t forget to add the word “Grandma” at the end of the phrase hahaha. Oh that’s priceless. My grandma and I keep it real. But I’d imagine that not everyone would want to say it like that, to their own grandmas lol.