Success Will Make My Insecurities Go Away
I can’t speak for everyone, but I do know this about myself: I’m not particularly inventive when it comes to my picture of what success is.
How do I define success?
I see it on someone else and I want it. Whatever it is that they posses or have attained or are currently doing – that’s what I want.
In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever made a truly unique goal for myself. All my goals have been modeled after someone who was more successful than me.
I see someone’s house that is better than mine and now I want one like it.
I see someone with a leadership gift that is different than mine and now I want to be like him.
I see someone who is older than me and in better shape than I am and now I want to try her workout plan.
I see a church that’s bigger than any church I’ve seen before and now I want my church to be like that.
I hate admitting this. Especially because I consider myself to be a creative-type… but I seem to lack creativity when it comes to my goal-setting and defining of success. Rather than attempting something that’s never been done before, I spend all my efforts trying to be like someone else.
It’s a comparison game. Constantly measuring, evaluating, comparing…
And it never satisfies.
It always leaves me longing for MORE.
I used to think the ultimate goal in life was to get to the top. Being the best, most successful, biggest, strongest, richest, most powerful – this is the key to being satisfied, confident, and secure, right?
I used to believe that. But I don’t believe it anymore.
There have been a few times in my life where I experienced a measure of success, rose to the top of whatever totem pole I was a part of, and even reached my goal of being like whomever I had been comparing myself to at the time.
At the top, in my “success,” the insecurities were still there. I wasn’t any happier in my high position than in my previous low one. The comparisons didn’t go away. The grumbling in my soul for MORE remained.
I used to believe success would make my insecurities go away. Now I know it’s not true.
I don’t know the secrets of how to live satisfied, confident, and secure. I presume Tony Robbins can sell you the answers to that question in his books Unlimited Power and Awaken the Giant Within. *sarcasm*
What I do know is this: I’d like to be more creative.
Rather than playing the comparison game, I want to have a fresh vision from God for my life. I don’t want all my goals to be about MORE.
I want to enjoy life. I want to be who God made me to be.
I want to be fully present, living now – knowing who I am and what I have – and being content there.
It is better to see what you have than to want MORE. Wanting MORE is useless, like chasing the wind. —Ecclesiastes 6.9
ADD YOUR VOICE: How do you picture success? Do you think success cures or satisfies anything in us?
This is part 2 of a 3-part series. Check out yesterday’s “Richer Is Always Better” and come back tomorrow for “Catholics Aren’t Christian.”
I am a husband, father, pastor, leader & reader. I love God, love people & love life.
PB I love this man, I’m so grateful to have your influence in my life. I like the way you preach, write, and do life. You’re an amazing man to follow. Thanks for laying it down all the time. This is one of my favorite blogs I’ve ever read. Thanks!
Sometimes I think success only heightens my awareness of and increases my insecurities. Great, I made it to the top…now everyone is watching to see what’s next. Now I have to stay on top. Gotta get an edge or someone else is going to outdo me. Good stuff PB. Things that make me go, “hmm…”
Really looking forward to tomorrow’s post. You have piqued my interest. This was great to read today. reminds me that I can only live today not tomorrow or yesterday. Do all I can in this present moment to please God, love people.
So true. I’ve been praying a similar prayer – particularly in this season of my life where I am not defined by a ministry role or position. I want to see things differently and I think I’m in the perfect place for that to happen.
And, goodness… I love the Peanuts video.
“…have a fresh vision from God for my life…” I’ve spent so many years doing what needed to be done, doing what would help make the kids successful (ie: working through their college years), that I’m not sure what else I could be or should be doing. I’ve dabbled with a direction I wanted to pursue while in college, but 1/2 afraid to throw myself into it. Its not a path of “success”, and I was told would never put food on the table (true). I had to aim for a “real career”. Now it seems more like a self-indulgence. I find it odd and embarrassing that at my age, I’m still not sure (or hesitant to look at) “who God made me to be”. Most of us have our security blankets well hidden, unlike Linus. So, a good reminder to keep looking past the daily must-do list and pray for that clarity of sight.
Cathy – This post by Shauna Niequist (daughter of Bill & Lynne Hybels) is all about what you’re mentioning. It’s a little longer, in terms of how most blog posts go, but I think you will be encouraged by it: http://shaunaniequist.com/mother-taught/
I measure my level of success in direct correlation to my obedience to Christ. Everything else is just extra, and not a true reflection of success. You can be successful and poor, successful and old, successful and young, successful and rich… Success is living out whatever it is that God has asked you to do, no matter how big or small, and no matter how important or menial it may seem. Any time you compare what God has called YOU to do to someone else, you are setting yourself up for failure. Our job is to seek God and do what He says, and however it looks or plays out is Gods business, not ours. At the end of the day, that is how God will measure our success, it’s not about how great we are but how great HE is.